Zoom Logo

Toxic Positivity: The Good, The Bad, and the Made Pretty - Shared screen with speaker view
Rachel Sondgeroth
13:22
Welcome everyone! We will start the event in 3 minutes.
Juevette Overton
14:11
Hello everyone.😃
Rachel Sondgeroth
14:47
Yes, this is a webinar, so everyone's video and audio is muted for now.
Denise Sedman
15:25
did this just start. where are we in the program
Rachel Sondgeroth
15:25
Everyone, please enjoy some event recaps for now
syalowicki
15:32
toxic positivity is up next?
Shana Tobkin
15:44
Rachel, can we add the closed captioning option?
Rachel Sondgeroth
15:47
The event will start soon. These are recap videos or now
syalowicki
15:53
cheers
Kate Burns
16:40
Thank you
Nora McInerny
17:07
Tell me where you are watching from quick!
Nora McInerny
17:31
Tell me where you’re watching from quick!
Dr. Sarah Tracy (she/her)
17:33
Chandler, AZ -- my home office.
Wynter Fenn
17:38
Peoria, AZ
Katie Blake
17:40
CT
Charity Johns
17:40
Ogden, Utah
CHaracourt
17:41
Denver, CO
Marisa Menchola, Ph.D.
17:42
Tucson, AZ
Christina
17:42
NYC
Erin Craven
17:42
Seattle!
Abbey Beach
17:42
Barre, Vermont
syalowicki
17:43
Seattle, WA
Meghan Tuttle
17:43
Kansas!
Michelle Madeen
17:43
Spokane, Washington
Alexis Tackmann
17:44
Minneapolis :)
Cailin
17:44
Mpls!
Alyssa May
17:45
Chicago1
Debra Harroun
17:45
Michigan
Susan Kinsella
17:45
Independence, KY
Janie Fugitt
17:45
Oklahoma City, OK
Gina Campellone (she/her/hers)
17:45
Vernon, CT
Erika Acorn
17:45
Scottsdale, AZ
stasia
17:46
Virginia
Lisa Zhu
17:46
Alberta
Skye Aslaksen
17:47
Tempe, Arizona
Elisa Mongeluzzi
17:47
Phoenix, AZ
Christine C
17:47
Christine from Toronto, Canada
Arie Zakaryan
17:48
Phoenix
Suzy K.
17:48
From WA state
Jam
17:49
Tokyo
Colleen C.
17:49
Rochester NY here
js
17:49
Minneapolis
Melissa Basnight
17:50
Houston Texas
Corey Reutlinger
17:50
Tempe
Julie Tyler
17:50
Minnesota
Maxfield Flynn
17:50
Madison, WI
Katie
17:50
Central New York
Rebecca C
17:51
College Station, TX! (Hi, Sarah! :) )
Victoria Beahm
17:51
Saskatchewan
Nicole
17:51
Killeen, Texas!
JaCoy W.
17:51
Utah
Rachael Klos (she/her)
17:51
Denver!
Janice M US (she/her)
17:51
Arizona
Ashley Banks
17:51
Dallas,TX
Franny Rafferty
17:51
London
Tess Neal
17:51
Peoria, az - :)
Patrick Shumar
17:52
Richmond, Virginia
marcy
17:52
Minnesota!,😁
Abbie Read
17:52
Iowa!
Monica Devereux
17:52
Calgary
Julie Schreader
17:52
Phoenix, AZ
Roberta Pytlik
17:52
Fargo, ND :)
Julie Salganik
17:52
Boston!
Shannon James
17:52
Maine!
Erica M
17:52
DC
Natasha Wilde
17:52
Edmonton Alberta!
Kaylee Marie (she/her)
17:53
Champaign, IL
Tamara Styer
17:53
Akron Ohio
Katie M
17:53
Wisconsin
Vernita
17:53
Chicago IL
Toa
17:53
Hilo, Hawaii
Yie Foong
17:53
Brooklyn NY
chat@ lifering.org
17:53
Denver, CO
Kirsten Keane
17:54
Phoenix!
Maria Cinquegrani (she/her)
17:54
Orlando, FL!
Courtney
17:54
Singapore!
dthorpe
17:54
Oregon
Shea
17:54
Long Island, NY
Jennifer
17:54
New Hampshire
Kelsey Jennings
17:55
OKC
Amanda
17:55
minnesota!
Evangelina
17:55
Idaho
Malak Diouri
17:55
Brooklyn, NY!
Rebecca Karlsson
17:55
hello,from Hamilton,Ontario,Canada
Patricia Gauronskas
17:55
Sacramento, CA
Regina. Ogmundson
17:55
New Westminster, BC, Canada
Vallee Bunting
17:55
Maryland
Jill
17:55
Jersey City
Amy
17:56
Austin, TX :)
Kate Leppert
17:56
Waterville, MN
Liz Fritz
17:56
Mankato MN
meghanthomas
17:56
Boston
Tracy M
17:56
Mississippi
Marissa Honey-Jones | she, her, hers
17:57
Phoenix
Tricia
17:57
Minneapolis!
bridget seeley
17:57
AZ
NCooke
17:57
South Carolina
J C
17:57
Philadelphia
Susan Briggs
17:57
MAdison WI!
Melissa McKenna
17:57
Nova Scotia
Drew
17:57
Utah
liz
17:57
Phoenix
Deborah Kelly
17:58
Memphis, TN
Michelle Zanoni
17:58
Arbor Vitae, WI Ojibwe territory
PA
17:58
Michigan
Emily Ann Scott
17:58
Indiana!
Lea Anne
17:58
Perth, Ontario. Canada
Laura Bramall
17:59
Salt Lake City
Beth Warnes
18:00
Waukesha, Wisconsin
Sabrina Barwick
18:00
Phoenix! Super close :)
Jocelyn F Blackwell
18:00
Kempner, TX
Yana Miroshnychenko
18:00
Brooklyn!
Amy NJ
18:00
New Jersey.
Leah LeFebvre
18:01
Tuscaloosa, AL
Chris & Rocky Armfield
18:01
Overgaard, AZ
Tracey Lynn Lowry
18:01
Northern California
Chelsey Syrnyk
18:01
Alberta
rachelstys
18:01
Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Meredith Goldin
18:01
Burlington, Vermont
Sarah
18:01
Minneapolis
Kim Meyer
18:02
Portland, OR
Rivkah Azoulay
18:02
Montreal
Carrie Edwards
18:03
Calgary, AB
Judy Tucci
18:03
Ontario
Nellie Butler
18:03
Hooper, utah
Art Lundgren
18:04
Alma, Michigan
Emily
18:04
DC! Hi Nora!
Liz Venegas
18:04
Newark, CA
Hattiesburg Jaycees
18:05
Hattiesburg, MS
Pam Grandy
18:05
Milwaukee, WI
Molly Holtcamp
18:05
Starkville, MS!
Cricket Correa
18:06
Atlanta
Anita Raymond
18:06
Minneapolis
Micah M (he/him)
18:06
Brooklyn, NY
Becca
18:06
Toronto, Ontario!
Barbara Anderson
18:07
Barbara from Iowa City, Iowa
McKenna
18:07
St. Paul, MN! ❤
Carolyn C (she/her)
18:08
Montreal, QC in Canada
K
18:08
BC
Mindy Fingerman
18:08
Philadelphia, PA!
tmf she.her.hers
18:08
Tucson, AZ
Cassidy Pfister
18:09
Ogden, Utah
Kim Kocak
18:09
Mesa, AZ
Marilyn
18:09
Hello from Farmington Hills, MI
jami
18:10
Hi From Tucson, AZ
Allison Simon
18:10
Hoboken, NJ
Veronica Wilson
18:11
Chicago
Amy MacPherson
18:11
Laveen, AZ
Shelby Turingan
18:11
Gilbert, AZ!
Matias Pedreira
18:11
Salt Lake City, Utah
813 2345 8989
18:12
Phoenix! :) originally from Michigan.
Christopher Ocampo
18:12
New Paltz, New York
NCooke
18:12
South Carolina
Carole Flores
18:13
Tempe, AZ
Maureen
18:13
San Diego (vacationing from Mpls)
Sarah Glover
18:13
Vancouver, BC
Patty Orr
18:14
Calgary, Alberta
Emma Iverson
18:15
Minneapolis!
Vernita
18:15
Chicago IL
Gina
18:15
Chandler,Az
Dee Lumpkin
18:15
Mississippi
PA
18:16
Michigan
Irene Girton
18:16
Mar Vista, LA, CA
Daisy Benitez
18:16
Los Angeles,Ca
Rachel
18:16
Phoenix, AZ
Laura W
18:16
Michigan
Alison Trego
18:17
Tempe AZ
kallia
18:17
Greece
Jordan Lemley
18:17
Albany NY
Rodrigo Lopez
18:17
CA
Jessica
18:18
philadelphia
Shawn
18:19
Atlanta
elizabeth vargas
18:19
Miami, FL
Kelli G.
18:20
Honolulu, HI
Deidra Colvin
18:20
Phoenix
Michael Ault
18:20
Ogden, UT
Olivia Martino
18:21
New York
Michelle Chang
18:21
Singapore
Kirsten W
18:22
Mount Horeb Wisconsin
Anitra Hamilton
18:23
Morgantown, WV
Igor
18:23
Hello from Germany!
Marisa Menchola, Ph.D.
18:24
Nora’s TED talk <3
JILL Traub
18:25
Pittsburgh, PA
vanessa
18:25
Los Angeles, Ca
Emily Kean
18:25
Baltimore, MD
Annette Saenz
18:25
Houston, TX
Viti
18:26
Wisconsin
Brett Bell
18:26
Tempe, AZ
Katie Honeycutt
18:26
Scottsdale, AZ
Carole Kauffman
18:27
Phoenix
VA
18:27
Hello from Torono
Alpha Villa
18:27
Phoenix, AZ
Adriana
18:27
Vancouver BC
Kerrie Smyres
18:27
Phoenix :)
maddiep1388
18:28
st marys pa!
Kassandra Reyes (she/her/hers/ella)
18:28
Fremont,CA
cori
18:28
Winnipeg Manitoba
Nicole Rossi
18:28
Arizona
Milly JC She/Her
18:28
Pasadena, CA, USA Tongva/Kisch land :)
Jessyca Love
18:28
loveland, colorado
Mary Hall
18:29
Phoenix, AZ
Courtney
18:30
Singapore :)
Amy Syvertsen (she/her)
18:30
Eden Prairie, MN
Grad Studies
18:30
Vancouver, Canada
jessie valvo
18:31
New Jersey!
Grant Frailich
18:31
Las Vegas! Love Project Humanities/Dr Lester's work
Sheila Willette
18:31
Minneapolis, MN
Heather Holmes
18:32
Bloomington, IN
Lou
18:32
Brisbane Australia
Jessica | RFA | ISE Specialist
18:32
Oakland CA
tara.belanger
18:33
Saskatchewan, canada
Margaret Owuadey
18:33
London, UK.
Jon Maes
18:34
San Diego, CA
Molly Holtcamp
18:35
starkville, ms!
kelly pratt
18:35
Eugene, Oregon
Di Schuler
18:35
Jasper, GA
Karen
18:35
Washington state! :)
Rachael Eynon
18:35
Toronto Canada
Andrew L. (He/Him)
18:36
Alberta, Canada
Kaitlyn Gosline (she/her)
18:36
Charlotte, NC!
erinb1
18:36
Tasmania, AUSTRALIA
Andrea Tugade
18:36
Philippines!
Ellen Whitton
18:37
Vermont
Melanie Simms
18:37
North Carolina
Nisha Mehter
18:37
Hi, Auckland, New Zealand :)
Tabitha Short
18:38
Tennessee!
Patrina Yang
18:38
Chandler, AZ.
Courtney Ward
18:38
Denver, CO! Nora's Podcast and Shana Tobkin!
RJ
18:39
Columbus, OH
Samantha E
18:39
Madison WI
Tori Birkholz
18:39
Edmonton, Alberta, Canada!
Kate Burns
18:39
Middletown NY
Jamie Daugherty
18:40
Cleveland OH
Karen Lynch
18:40
Phoenix
Ian 'Tay' Landry, MA MSW RSW
18:40
Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada
Kate Monaghan
18:41
Chicago :)
Lori Langston
18:41
Denver, Colorado. Saw an Eventbrite posting.
Barbara Arnick
18:41
Garland, Texas
Kristi
18:41
Vermont
Heather Carbone
18:42
Manchester, NH - love the topic and Nora!
Jana Anderson
18:42
Muncie, IN
D Bennett
18:43
Alberta
Paige
18:43
Warner Robins, GA
Miranda Rodgers
18:43
New Jersey
Starry B
18:43
CIncinnati OH! :)
Miguel Ángel Torres
18:44
Freezing Edmonton, Canada
M M
18:44
New york
Kaitlyn Gosline (she/her)
18:45
Charlotte, NC
kleland
18:45
Phoenix, AZ #ASUAlum
DJ
18:47
Dineshkumar from Hong Kong
Jennifer
18:47
Love TTFA. Thank you Nora
jami
18:47
I’m a psychotherapist in Tucson and This is SUCH an important issue, spiritual bypassing and toxic positivity is my soapbox!
melanie
18:47
Foley Alabama Selfcare
Shelly Terry
18:47
Durham, NC
Lynda Davis
18:48
Washington (state)
Catherine Mancini
18:48
Tempe, AZ
DL White
18:49
The Valley of the Sun(Phx, AZ). Where it is chilly tonight!!
Lashelle Riley
18:49
Hello everyone, New York City
Diane
18:49
HI! Landenberg, PA
Alaine Ginocchio
18:50
Denver. Familiar with Nora McInerny and appreciate her work.
Suzette
18:50
Fr
The Julian Family
18:50
Portland, Oregon
Regina. Ogmundson
18:51
love her podcast
Erika Acorn
18:51
I'm here because of the Project Humanities Staff!!!
Patrina Yang
18:52
Chandler, AZ
Rachel Flaherty (they/them)
18:52
St. Paul, MN
Juevette Overton
18:52
Decatur, GA
Kasey
18:52
Dallas and Houston Tx!
bev
18:53
Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada
Celeste Trevino
18:54
San Antonio, TX, USA
Catharine Lebsock
18:55
Vermont!
Shea
18:55
Here because of my co-ed community service fraternity, Alpha Phi Omega, telling us about it!
Amanda
18:55
eventbrite
adele
18:55
Houston!
Katya Nuques
18:55
Hello from Chicago, IL!
Starry B
18:55
Love Nora from TED, love your organization!
Jonathan Crist
18:56
Richard A. Baddour Leadership Academy at University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
Denise Sedman
18:56
Detroit is in the house. Motown baby.
Melissa Brown
18:57
San Diego. love Nora's podcast
lindsay p
18:57
St. Paul, Mn
Alma Ortman
18:58
Washginton, DC
Grace Yonehara
18:58
Honolulu, Hawaii
Eddie Kibicho
18:58
Vancouver Canada - unceded Musqueam, Squamish, and Tseil-Waututh lands
Kelly Quintanar
18:59
ASU Alumni and in Phoenix right tnow
Cindy Nowack
19:00
Phoenix AZ
sjack
19:00
New York
Amber Craft
19:03
Kissimmee, FL
Rachael Klos (she/her)
19:03
I’d follow Nora anywhere!
suzana
19:03
Malaysia
k lee
19:04
Singapore
Jeanne Ivancic
19:04
Hello from Westlake, OH!
David Wheel
19:04
NH, read article
megan
19:06
Massachusetts
Linda
19:06
hi everyone. I'm Linda from Texas.
DFPL Guest
19:07
Cold Spring, NY
Vernita
19:07
The interesting title in Eventbrite
Jacqueline Royalty Hernandez
19:09
USA, Detroit, Michigan the Mitten Shaped State
Patricia Gauronskas
19:10
My friend Ernesto Abeytia asked for a reference to work for project humanities several years ago, and I've been following since then.
tkelzj
19:11
Apple Valley, MN - Nora and Terrible Thanks for Asking podcast
Savannah Wateland
19:12
Devils Lake, North Dakota, but MN born and raised! Nora is my hero <3
Neka Ponn
19:14
Alabama.
Tia Jochimsen
19:14
Weber State University
Sandi Silverberg
19:15
From Sandi in New York metro
rebekamendelsohn
19:15
Burlington, Vermont!
Rachel DeFurio
19:16
Kailua Kona, Hawai’i - Project Humanities partner for the last few years :)
Jennifer Pachan
19:16
Bay Area, CA. Follow Nora on all platforms!
John Gayusky
19:17
livingston MT
brenda
19:17
Hello from Stoughton Wisconsin!
RUZ
19:18
Hi from Toronto
Sam Gao
19:19
Pittsburgh, PA, USA :) Looked like a great talk!
Cai McCann
19:20
Hi from Vermont
Becca
19:20
Fargo, ND!
Mitchelle Makanjuola
19:21
Hello from AZ!
Suzette
19:21
Hi from Montreal Canada
Janice M US (she/her)
19:22
I'm a psychologist in private practice and this is relevant in therapy
John Schuderer
19:23
Prescott, AZ
Rachel Henderson
19:23
Minneapolis, MN
Carol
19:23
We are from Columbia, South Carolina and we love Nora and her gallery walln
Nicole
19:28
Found as a "suggestion" on Eventbrite!
DC
19:30
Scottsdale, AZI’m on the Tempe/Scottsdale boarder. ASU is very close and I appreciate all the community events
Margaret Owuadey
19:33
I found the title interesting and intriguing.
Jeovanna Moreno
19:34
hello from phoenix az
dana w.
19:34
Jackson Hole, WY
4 Victoria Martínez
19:35
Los Angeles, California
Sara Gill
19:38
Ontario
meghanthomas
19:39
Here because if Nora’s talking about it, I’m interested:)
Beth Brasor
19:41
Princeton NJ
Angela Lamberti
19:41
Toronto, Ontario Canada
Susan Schneller
19:41
NJ. Suggestion from Eventbrite. I’ve been thinking about this topic ever since I babysat a child obsessed with Barney.
apprentice
19:41
phx metro
Stella Lee (she/her/hers)
19:42
Brooklyn, NY. Feeling that I need to learn more about this topic
Carmen
19:42
Seattle, Washington, Coast Salish tribal land ❤
McKenna
19:44
Supporting Nora and PH. Toxic positivity is something I have struggled with letting go of.
Elline Frances Bautista
19:44
Manila, Philippines 😉 saw posting on eventbrite
Kimberly Cook
19:45
Hello from Spokane, WA
Bella Escalante
19:47
San Francisco, CA!
Michele Herrmann
19:48
Queens
Judy
19:50
Rockwall, Texas
Robert Spradley
19:51
Nacogdoches, TX
Barbara Harrison
19:51
Barbara Harrison Eugene, OR/Ithaca, NY An invitation from Dr. Lester. I am delighted to be here.
syalowicki
19:52
This guy must be tenured
Barbara Anderson
19:52
Barbara here from Iowa, Nora, loved your Ted Talk and have read other things Dr. Lester recommended too. You surely are bringing very valuable information to us all !
Rosie Smith
19:55
Hi I'm Rosie in Scotland & have stayed up to see you as it is 1.05am Friday here.
Lynette Kaderlik
19:58
Minneapolis, Minnesota
gail
20:04
Columbus, OH. Curiosity of class title.
Julie Saucier
20:06
Vancouver, Canada 👋🏻
syalowicki
20:16
That's a good message
Lucy Baez
20:18
Boston
Renata
20:20
Orlando, FL !
Gaganjot Singh Arora
20:29
HI from Vancouver,Canada
Jacqueline Royalty Hernandez
20:31
Again, I am hail from the USA, State of Michigan, the Mitten shaped state.
Anitra Hamilton
20:33
Eventbrite suggested this and I liked the description! So here I am! :)
I am
20:36
Antigua Here the learn...yayyy
Miggy Recto
20:37
Via Evenbrite and I'm from the Philippines
Erin Craven
20:37
Rachel, me too! :D
Andrea Tugade
20:38
Manila, Philippines. Saw it on Eventbrite thank you for this kind of webinars!
Janice Carter
20:39
Toronto, Ontario Canada
chrysta
20:41
Hello from the unceded land of Meškwahki·aša·hina (Fox), Peoria, Anishinabewaki, Bodéwadmiakiwen (Potawatomi) — so-called metro Detroit. Eager to be able to better articulate what toxic positivity is so that I can call it out when I encounter it.
I am
20:44
to*
Coby Somsen, FNP
20:53
Wisconsin, USA, big fan of Nora’s. the concept of toxic positivity is a new idea for me but it runs deeeeep in these midwestern veins.
Michelle Rodriguez
20:56
Tijuana, Mx. I'd like to learn more about this topic!
Colton Bell
20:58
Hello from Utah! Our college professor at Weber State University recommended this webinar. Very excited about the topic!
Vanessa
20:59
St. Paul, MN. Frequent attender of Nora events/consumer of Nora words and work
K
21:00
Surrey, BC
alicia hatch
21:01
Providence, Utah saw this on eventbrite while looking at USU Utah Women & Leadership Project webinars.
TAKESHIA C
21:03
Hello from Houston, TX!
J. Kwamboka
21:18
I saw this in my email and here I am
Kate McFadden
21:20
Hi from Minneapolis!! <3
Barbara Harrison
21:29
Barbara Harrison, Eugene, OR/Ithaca, NY. An invitation from Dr. Lester. I am delighted to be here.
Shelby Turingan
21:49
Masters in Social Work student at ASU! Happy to be here
Beverly Tryk (she/they)
21:59
Former student of Dr Lester's, now working in a funeral nonprofit in Seattle!
Nora McInerny (she/her)
21:59
Oooh shelby that’s awesome!
Kaitlyn Gosline (she/her)
22:00
Saw Nora in my schools newsletter and knew I had to join, original found Nora on Cafeteria Christian
Jules ~
22:01
Fabulous pod and I enjoy her live events! (from IL)
Adreonna
22:22
Adreonna Bennett, Charlotte, NC. This webinar was in our university's DEI newsletter.
Laura Bramall
22:25
Dr. Ault from Weber State University referred me to this discussion!
McKenna
22:25
Nora is a damn gift!
Mindy Fingerman
22:33
I kind of want to be a "reluctant grief specialist"...
Michelle Madeen
22:35
Love the podcast. Widow sister! (Or Wister, we call it)
Pardis Baradar
22:37
Hello from Phoenix, AZ!
Shelby Turingan
22:43
Masters in Social Work student in Gilbert, realized I was only taking to the panelists first… hi everyone!
Belinda Richey
22:48
Arizona State University - Keeping Current & In the Know
Maxfield Flynn
22:52
Today is my dead-dad-inversely and thought this would be a good way to spend it.
Rebecca C
22:53
Yay, Sarah! Great to see you!
Nora McInerny (she/her)
23:15
Sarah is so cool.
Nora McInerny (she/her)
23:21
THIS WHOLE ORGANIZATION IS COOL!
Haley Madden
23:31
I’m here from Madison, Wisconsin - Terrible, Thanks for Asking is one of my favorite podcasts and Nora has been a huge help to me in many ways.
Arie Zakaryan
23:41
Here from Phoenix, AZ!
Dee Lumpkin
23:48
Terrible, Thanks for Asking has been a tremendous help to me through my grief process, and that’s why I’m here. :)
Ian 'Tay' Landry, MA MSW RSW
23:52
Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada
Andrea Tugade
23:57
Manila, Philippines!
Stefanie Tomlinson
24:25
State College, PA - thank you for hosting this!
Gloria Jones
24:41
Hi, Gloria here from Southeastern Michigan. I love humanity and all values matter compassion and empathy, forgiveness ,integrity, kindness, respect .
McKenna
24:43
TTFA has been essential to understanding grief and surviving it.
Caroline Fujimoto
24:44
Hi everyone, I'm here from São Paulo, Brazil!
Saira Malik
25:02
Hello I am from the uk
Margaret Owuadey
25:02
A great introduction Dr Lester. Thank you.
Colton Bell
25:08
We've all been there XD
Maxfield Flynn
25:11
Strong picture wall game, Norah!
VA
25:13
Hi from Canada
Amy MacPherson
25:14
Eyes averted! :)
Colton Bell
25:24
*applause*
Shelby Turingan
25:26
Well done!! :)
Gilles's Galaxy Tab S7
25:27
Hi Nora from Halifax
Jules ~
25:27
Yahoo!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
McKenna
25:27
that wall is 🙌
Charity Johns
25:29
👏👏👏
DC
25:31
😆
David Wheel
25:38
good job!
Tabitha Short
25:50
not great
Kate Burns
25:52
Ironically a friend sent me Noras Ted on grieving and I watched her this morning— never putting the 2 together since I signed up for this a while ago
Carole Kauffman
26:04
Good!
Kate Burns
26:07
Amazing how the universe works
Adreonna
26:10
That was really cool!
Varda
26:21
anxious
J C
26:30
Sleep deprived and haven’t eaten since 16 hours ago. Tired and hangry.
Louise
26:40
Scared I can’t get better ever again
Kim Kocak
26:50
#reallife
chrysta
26:53
lol
Abbey Beach
27:08
so is this whole thing going to be very negativity?
Jennifer
27:10
Hi Ralph :) :)
J C
27:10
Lol 😂
Jules ~
27:25
Great results!!
Kim Meyer
27:30
I’ll change my “fine” to “Good & a bit tired”
Amy MacPherson
27:45
Amen! You are SO right!
John Schuderer
27:51
FINE = Feelings inside not expressed.
Margaret Owuadey
27:58
Very funny.
kallia
28:01
Wow
Mitchelle Makanjuola
28:08
Oh nice one John !
Chelsey Syrnyk
28:08
John, tags perfect
J C
28:09
Exactly
Wynter Fenn
28:17
Love this podcast <3
Kate Burns
28:19
Sad and lonely - sister passed away unexpectedly- watching my elderly parents grieve is almost unbearable — my dad (82) being treated for cancer —
Shea
28:22
john, i love that!
kallia
28:24
Yeah it’s amazing
A
28:45
I feel like sometimes it erodes my self esteem
Afifa Sulthan
28:48
Hi, I'm from Indoneisa Love it this meeting!
Jules ~
28:49
F'd Up, Insecure, Neurotic, Emotional
Atiya Mosley
28:50
FINE=fucked up, neurotic, insecure and (can’t remember the e)
PA
29:01
Love that John!
Dawn Demps
29:25
anti-bullshit
McKenna
29:43
yes, absolutely.
Barbara Harrison
29:53
When I have been told to F_ _ _ _ off by students, I respond. There is no such thing as a curse word. Every word has a definition. Since you are not using the word in a meaningful context, I can’t do what you want. They don’t get it. But for me it is a wonderful release.
Dr. Neal Lester (he him his)
30:57
denial of emotion that is considered "bad'--betrayal of what is real. giving and receiving...
SD
31:03
Not being constantly positive is almost counterculture, and it’s exhausting !
chrysta
31:21
Q: “How are you” / A: “Fine” almost feels like a reflex, like it’s baked into how we do small talk… even though I assume most people don’t actually want to get into a conversation about someone else’s emotional state. And maybe I don’t feel psychologically safe with them and don’t want to share that anyway.
syalowicki
31:24
Listen to her. Stop trying to impress others with your "remarks"
Abbey Beach
31:31
yeah this stinks. I don't belong here.
Dawn Demps
31:46
The insidious nature of "the power of positive thinking" ideology
Julia Bautista
31:56
Good evening everyone
Julia Bautista
32:04
Sorry I am late
Jennifer Pachan
32:08
It's trendy right now, plastered on t-shirts and mugs EVERYWHERE - "choose joy" "choose happy"...as if it's a choice.
Julia Bautista
32:24
And my name is Julia Bautista. I am in Guttman. I am a second year student
Julia Bautista
32:35
and my major is Information Technology
Shannon Lauzon
32:43
I'm from Oshawa Ontario
Nicole
32:53
I am from Alberta!!!! Thank you for having ME!
Julia Bautista
32:54
I am from Manhattan, Washington Heights, NY, US
Mic Lim
33:08
hello from Asia
Paige
33:15
Truuueeee
Ashlee (she/her) .
33:17
Oklahoma City, OK.
@JOANNAessayist
33:19
Thanks for acknowledging this is a particularly American problem. Greeks call Americans “silly-happy” because of their superficial positivity
Shelly Gordon
33:21
Here from Mesa, AZ.
Marlana-Patrice Pugh Hamer
33:22
Crying can perceived as weakness, even at funerals.
Vanessa
33:33
Syalowicki, that’s just rude and not necessary. The chat is open for discussion. People can chat.
Ashlee (she/her) .
33:42
Oklahoma City, OK.
Marlana-Patrice Pugh Hamer
33:43
OOps. Should say Can be...
Arcelious
33:45
Arcelious Stephens, retiree in Phoenix, Arizona.
Anna
33:57
Oregon
Dr. Neal Lester (he him his)
33:58
@marlana, and saying that we are not fine can seem like a weakness. acknowledging pain and suffering
Jules ~
34:01
👏🏼
Dawn Demps
34:02
YESSSS
Zeta Anich
34:12
Hi I'm from New Zealand on the other side of the world!
Gloria Jones
34:19
I am tired, angry, lonely and alienated. And still processing 23years of Army racism, sexism.
@JOANNAessayist
34:42
Thank you for acknowledging the particularly American origin/nature of this problem, and thank you for recognizing that these same people refuse to vote for the kind of services that would make life better.
McKenna
34:52
I've always loved this picture
Dr. Neal Lester (he him his)
35:04
the look of love.. lol
tiffani
35:19
Salt Lake City, Utah Cold and tired 😁
Grant Frailich
35:32
Dr Lester has been a huge help to me personally in terms of acknowledging the full spectrum of human emotion. Love what Nora is sharing!
Ashlee (she/her) .
35:45
👏👏
Dr. Neal Lester (he him his)
36:03
@grant, thanks. I appreciate you and the work you do.
Marlana-Patrice Pugh Hamer
36:05
So true, but pain and suffering are necessary. I have learned to embrace it when necessary. We hold in too much for the sake of others.
Bianca
36:24
I just realized that I’ve watched Nora’s tik toks!
Colton Bell
36:48
@bianca I was just thinking that!
Bianca
37:23
I love how everyone is on tik Tok and sharing their experiences!
Rachel Sondgeroth
37:24
Thanks for your patience in us getting our closed captioning up.
Courtney
38:25
Hi! will this be available to watch later as a recording?
Dr. Neal Lester (he him his)
38:39
hardest and the happiest--wow! the best of times and the worst of times (Dickens)
Jules ~
38:47
@Rachel - can we shut off CC for ourselves?
Carmen
38:56
I wrote my own obit in highschool
Amy MacPherson
39:08
Damn - I LOVE that! :)
Beverly Tryk (she/they)
39:12
OMG. I just realized I used this obit to teach a workshop!
kallia
39:14
yes i think you can find it later on youtube
CHaracourt
39:18
Wonderful!!
Julia Bautista
39:23
:)
Shea
39:25
im cracking up oh my gosh
kallia
39:32
there is a link in the email they send you
Nicole
39:40
absolutely cry laughing !!!
McKenna
39:46
hahahaha!
Dr. Neal Lester (he him his)
39:48
Yes, recording will be on FB page . Stay tuned
Savannah Wateland
39:49
Wooo Minnesota!!!!
Milly JC She/Her
39:50
so powerful, when you know you're time is limited, it's much more sacred. if only we always appreciated life this way.
Paige
39:51
STOP
Starry B
39:51
I love that you wrote that together
Rachel Sondgeroth
39:52
Yes, where you see the "CC" at the bottom of the screen you can select "hide subtitle"
Amy MacPherson
39:53
LOL!!!
Paige
39:55
LOLOLOLOL
Kate McFadden
39:58
Hilarious!!!
brenda
39:58
😂😂😂
Vanessa
40:02
😂😂😂love that
Mitchelle Makanjuola
40:04
Haha ... does Gwen know?
Rachel Henderson
40:13
yep!!!!!! I totally know Gwen in Anoka county
Amanda
40:16
ayo anoka represent
Alexis Tackmann
40:16
Hahahaha!!! I love that!
DL White
40:18
Toxic Positivity!Transforming the negative into something, breathable, liveable and even loveable....
marcy
40:18
LOL I’m im anoka county
becky
40:18
😂😂😂❤️
McKenna
40:23
Gwen Steffani from Anoka county! ha!
Gina
40:31
My husband is from Anoka
Shea
40:32
no one tell blake shelton
becky
40:55
😂😂😂🤣🤣
Alexandra Checketts
41:01
It's crazy when things are put into perspective. You really do take those things to heart.
Jules ~
41:04
Ok. I don't have that via tablet. thx!
Dr. Neal Lester (he him his)
42:11
Comparable to what I was being asked as an African American male after George Floyd's murder: "Are you okay?" Came from a well-meaning place, but the question registered and landed very differently.
Julia Bautista
42:39
:)
Julia Bautista
42:41
Love it
Julia Bautista
43:38
I got to go
Julia Bautista
43:43
and thank you very much
Julia Bautista
43:46
and see you soon
Joy
43:49
💗 Love your sense of humour 💗 So sorry for your loss
Julia Bautista
43:50
I hope you stay safe
Jules ~
43:58
Oh wow!! huge that the obit went viral!
Julia Bautista
44:02
and take care and have a great spring break
K
44:39
Can you say "I'm fine" until you become fine?
Dr. Neal Lester (he him his)
44:49
recreational liar...
Amy MacPherson
45:24
So perfectly stated - I’m ok so you can be ok too… :(
veronica
45:28
@ Dr. Lester as a AA female, same
Kelly Quintanar
45:46
The terrible saying of fake it, till you make it.
CHaracourt
46:15
But in it's original context, it is incredibly useful
Dr. Neal Lester (he him his)
46:19
courage to be truthful--smile through the hard things
Susan Schneller
46:55
As someone with chronic major depression I often think of the irony of my mother’s favorite cliche: Mind over matter.
CHaracourt
46:56
Fake it till you make it is an Alcoholics Anonymous way of getting someone through the urge to start drinking again.
Milly JC She/Her
47:00
i look forward to listening to this podcast!!
CHaracourt
47:05
which is clearly better than relapsing
Samira
47:06
everyone needs to listen to Rebecca Black's episode. It changed my whole perspective on her story
Jennifer Pachan
47:26
The podcase is a lifeline if you're going through something super crappy...even if you're not.
Jules ~
47:28
The podcast is so helpful!
Lou
47:48
The hard part is after nearly 4 years I'm being asked why aren't you dating again
Samira
48:12
Everyone needs to listen to Rebecca Black's episode. It changed my whole perspective on her story
Dr. Neal Lester (he him his)
48:26
Toxic positivity: An American thing--as grad student Kelly Baur says--is also connected to capitalism.
Anitra Hamilton
48:29
America is not self made tho… but continue
Amy MacPherson
48:33
What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger… that old saying :(
rachelstys
48:49
I feel like I stay in my crap for too long. I let myself sit in it, knowing that If I just get up and do stuff, I’ll feel better. But at the same time, it can be so hard! I never know where to draw the line
John Schuderer
48:56
"How am I?! My son just died by suicide! How do you think I am?" My response to them in 2001.
@JOANNAessayist
49:10
Yes Dr. Lester!! I’d like to hear more about the connection to neoliberalism!!
Evan (Even)
49:42
did you know that the term "pull yourself up by your bootstraps," actually meant something that was impossible? It is not possible to pull yourself up by your bootstraps! And it's become an American saying.
Dr. Neal Lester (he him his)
49:43
Capitalism also about competition and winning, being the best--not about collaboration and sharing and acknowledging weakness, suffering, pain, vulnerability--humanity. Thanks, Kelly Baur
Susan Schneller
49:44
Good for you John
Anitra Hamilton
49:45
That is very true! After traumatic experiences, many find renewed purpose
Nicole
50:09
HOW much time? WHEN do the broken bits start to come together?
@JOANNAessayist
50:09
Thank you Dr. Lester and almost-Dr Baur!!
Lou
50:22
I so sorry John
Joy
50:26
I think it takes experience of this pain to realise you need to sit with the pain & sit with someone else's pain. I'm from the UK, it's still difficult to acknowledge. We need to change & help children to not have this burden.
Emily
50:34
Toxic positivity is running rampant during the pandemic. Especially in the workplace
Amy MacPherson
50:35
I was taught it is RUDE to make others uncomfortable by sharing REAL feelings with them…
jami
50:36
@Nicole I think that depends on the person…
Susan Schneller
50:37
Do they ever truly Nicole?
K
50:43
dido^ @nicole
John Schuderer
50:47
@lou - thank you!
Susan Schneller
50:52
*snort*
briana
51:01
Social media = disconnection and anti social
Samira
51:14
@emily yes I was understanding
Dr. Neal Lester (he him his)
51:17
Bootstrap theory is also about privilege. Everyone doesn't have boots, or boots with straps or ways to pull up boots, etc. Success is collaboration
Shea
51:27
can i rent someone else's mind then
Sherry Rankins-Robertson (she/her/ella)
51:38
@ Neal Lester Yeeessss
Michelle Zanoni
51:38
Only limit is your mind is bullshit
K
51:41
lol
Dr. Neal Lester (he him his)
51:46
Great examples, @Nora
Gilles's Galaxy Tab S7
51:57
Nicole it's been almost 4 yrs since my wife died and the broken bits are still scattered, but I acknowledge the pain so the bits will come back someday.
samantha
52:05
oooooouuuuu *snaps*
Savannah Wateland
52:05
When I’m at work (midwest), it’s common and normal for people to greet during passing in the hallways with “hi, how are you?” “Good, how are you?” “Good!” as we pass each other.. even though I’m not “good”
Gina Campellone (she/her/hers)
52:10
I hate this one the most!
@JOANNAessayist
52:10
Yes! Dr. Michael Sandel criticized merit / success competition, but doesn’t quite make the connection with capitalism.
Susan Schneller
52:27
Only limit is your mind?! I suffer from a chemical condition that makes my mind betray me every day!
Katie Honeycutt
52:31
What are you thoughts on the book, "The Energy Bus"?
stasia
52:35
My sister in law posts stuff like this all the time. She’s a marine and in unaccepting of anything perceived as weakness.
Dr. Neal Lester (he him his)
52:35
Christianity can be a perpetrator of toxic positivity as well?
Gaganjot Singh Arora
52:36
It's the same in Canada too, lol
Katya Nuques
52:36
Savannah, yes so true!!
Louise
52:37
Yeah that mind thing is a mind f , making it your fault if you can’t get there emotionally
Heather Carbone
52:39
THE WORST!
Savannah Wateland
52:43
hate “…at least blah blah blah”
Rebecca C
52:45
Wow!!
Shelby Turingan
52:50
Savannah! I have always felt that when passing acquittances too...
Erin Craven
52:54
The one about your mind being the only limit honestly made me go HA out loud. So ridiculous
Barbara Anderson
52:54
John, I, too, am so very sorry ! I was one of those asking a good friend of mine, whose husband had been dying the last nine weeks in their living room as he wanted to be home and not in the hospital, I was at first asking How are you? Not knowing what to say, but she told all of us to not ask her that as she didn't know herself. I wish I had heard about Nora's podcast and thoughts a couple of years ago! Now I just listen and try to be there when this happens .
Michele
52:54
@DrLester, right, access to cultural capital
Marlana-Patrice Pugh Hamer
53:01
@dr. neal, that reminds me of Clarence Thomas and his opposition to Affirmative Action.
@JOANNAessayist
53:03
Greek songs constantly mourn the pain of life. I only listen to Greek songs!
Samantha E
53:08
Yes! Bootstrap theory is so awful. Tightrope is a wonderful book that basically dismantles bootstrap theory with various personal stories of different people across the US
stasia
53:26
These memes pots me off.
brenda
53:28
Nora - what is the kindest thing someone said to you at Aaron’s funeral?
AJ
53:33
Phoenix is better with you here <3
Cassidy Pfister
53:38
These posts make your negative feelings seem inconsequential and not worth confronting. Overcoming the “negative vibes” makes it easier to enjoy the good ones in the moment and even when reflecting on them.
Carmen
53:43
Seattle WA is #1 rn
Alexis Powell
53:46
Do we not think people know when these sayings are applicable to their lives when they encounter them?
Carmen
53:50
but don't come here
Heather Carbone
54:07
George Floyd
Jay Brown
54:10
George Floyd
Pardis Baradar
54:10
George Floyd
Ash Hermalin
54:12
George floyd
Jules ~
54:13
George F
Michelle Zanoni
54:15
George floyd
@JOANNAessayist
54:21
Any other citations regarding capitalism and toxic positivity would be appreciated!!
Dr. Neal Lester (he him his)
54:22
Minnesota may not be the best place to live for everyone ...
Kim Meyer
54:32
So awful!
Erin Craven
54:38
whITE people
Samira
54:53
preeeaaach Nora
John Schuderer
54:55
@Barbara, I understand. I once asked a terminally ill the person the same thing! OMG! It just came out.
Samantha E
55:10
The Minnesota Paradox
Vanessa
55:18
Definitely forcibly ignoring all non-white experiences
Dr. Neal Lester (he him his)
55:22
This is such an important lesson in Privilege 101. Thank you, @Nora.
Patrina Yang
55:22
To say "I'm not fine" is to be vulnerable. To show your vulnerability is difficult - not everyone can handle that and many want to avoid the awkward, hollow conversations that can follow.
Susan Schneller
55:26
What rankings are they using?
Nicole
55:42
@Patrina!!!!! YES YES YES!!!
@JOANNAessayist
55:45
I always thought of toxic positivity as an Anglo Saxon problem, but I didn’t make the connection with white supremacy and privilege. Thank you.
rachelstys
55:47
I so agree Patrina
samantha
56:00
@savannah Ive tried to work on not lying when people ask me that and im NOT good... "I woke up today, so that's somethin!" not a lie but not an awkward lengthy response
Dr. Neal Lester (he him his)
56:01
I think the rankings are about perceptions and opinions?
Austin Schaper
56:04
^agree with Patrina
Amy MacPherson
56:25
Nora said FINE is not ok at home with people you love you and you love - seems wise to PICK who you share your true self with…
Michelle Zanoni
56:31
Some people think it's the height of rudeness to answer How are you? with anything other than Fine or Good.
veronica
56:33
Wow what an amazing example of toxic positivity. MN as “number 2”
rachelstys
56:35
If I show vulnerability, I’m too fragile and how can I have a relationship etc :( it sucks
@JOANNAessayist
56:39
@patrina I always remind peopleThat awkwardness isn’t mutual. I don’t feel awkward even when others do! I talk about death and suffering and I cry in front of others. Suck it up!
briana
56:44
Inauthentic
Milly JC She/Her
56:49
vulnerability is often seen as a weakness but it's actually a strength and can foster deep connections
K
56:54
@Patrina....or don't have the good people to rely on when being vulnerable so best to not be open
Savannah Wateland
56:54
Patricia yes. And sometimes I just don’t want to be vulnerable.. don’t want to let acquaintances or colleagues in.. so ‘fine’ is what they get..
Unwin, Lyndal {PI}
56:55
The problem is you say fine because some people are not genuine in asking and you do not want to have false discussions. The people that genuinely care, that are present and are actively listening, you are happy to be vulnerable to them.
Kirsten W
56:58
"Tis but a scratch," said the Black Knight of Monty Python fame, after getting all his limbs cut off and still trying to fight off others. I think this is what others expect from anyone going through trauma, grief, cancer, etc. No matter what you are expected to fight whether it is reasonable or not.
Susan Schneller
57:03
Nice quote
Kate Burns
57:07
@patrina took a screenshot of your blurb - thank you, and I’m not fine — at all
Carmen
57:11
I think ratings come from all different things depending on whose coming up with them
Milly JC She/Her
57:46
I'm often Too Vulnerable as i cry when I'm happy, sad, frustrated, etc. and i can open up easily which allows others to do the same and thanks to that openness, I have a great network of friends, colleagues, etc. it all starts with you.
K
57:57
@Michelle agree, however we have to now be the change
@JOANNAessayist
58:00
Barbara Ehrenrheich is also great on this. Her last couple of books after she got cancer.
Lou
58:26
@Kirsten yes I agree
Amy MacPherson
58:27
@ Kirsten - Stay Calm and Chive On…
Kate Burns
58:30
🙌🏼🙌🏼 preach @milly - agreed
@JOANNAessayist
58:54
Also there’s a lot of pressure from the “it gets better” campaign for gay people suffering from homophobia to say they’re feeling ok after coming out.
Milly JC She/Her
59:22
there are some people who don't appreciate the vulnerability and that's okay, i just know that's not the type of relationship we're ready for, everyone is different.
Carmen
59:28
@milly "it all starts with you" might work for you but may not be the same for others
Heather Carbone
59:28
Society may tell you to act fine, but let it out if you need to!
Robin Bueckers
59:40
I always say "just" is a four letter word!
Pardis Baradar
59:40
I knew about “JUST’ because women tend to use this to express their opinion
K
59:46
yes narcissists
Vallee Bunting
59:52
Or with all due respect....Ugh
Robin Siegal
01:00:02
Hi- I’m Robin, a therapist in Los Angeles— I’m writing a book about redefining assertive communications… It is some of these “toxic messages” that I assist people to respond to— speaking their truth- and educating people about how these statements feel to be the recipient of— and yet, being able to express your painful feelings— teaching them how to treat you and how “difficult” these communications are…and what’s really happening with the “receiver’s life”…. Yes- these are terrible statements [and I’ve collected more] whereby people can respond authentically- if they hear this crap. ALSO- choosing when and with whom you choose to “educate” about your feelings…. I would love to hear from you, as I hope we will address “responses” to these people…
Pardis Baradar
01:00:14
hahahahaha or the Trader Joe’s cashier!
Jordan Lemley
01:00:14
Our favorite is "just stay positive"...ugh
Amy MacPherson
01:00:15
Change BUT to AND - makes you change how you talk a lot… everything after BUT makes what was said before the but not true…
Louise
01:00:18
Yeah you have a head tumor and surgery but at least it’s probably not cancer. I can’t even say how many people told me that
Savannah Wateland
01:00:22
Yes. Target cashier gets a “fine, thanks”. Absolutely.. haha
Nicole
01:00:33
“Don’t should on me...” that’s one of my favourite sayings for the transference of expectations.
John Schuderer
01:00:46
Sometimes it's best not to say anything. Do something helpful instead.
Michelle Zanoni
01:00:54
You can say to people in pain - What do you need?
Amy MacPherson
01:00:57
Preach it Nora! :)
samantha
01:00:59
*snaps*
Paige
01:01:02
True, I never know how to respond to people when they say "I remember when I was 26" and they just raz on me while I'm checking them out. Like, thanks, I also remember when I am 26 and had to stay socially distant from my friends for a year now.
briana
01:01:02
Conditioned
Saira Malik
01:01:14
You can ask people what they want
@JOANNAessayist
01:01:16
I wonder if there were ways to bring practices of communal grieving back into the US culture.
Michele
01:01:19
Years ago a counselor told me to stop "shoulding" on myself.
Dr. Neal Lester (he him his)
01:01:22
"pickled in the brine f toxic positivity"
K
01:01:23
@Louise many don't know how to respond to anything vulnerable as all we were taught was toxic positivity
Elizabeth
01:01:24
I love that Michelle!
Savannah Wateland
01:01:24
But sometimes they don’t know what they need.. and making decisions is hard
kallia
01:01:30
i really cant open up tbh . sometimes i bust out in tears without being able to hold them back with a person i cant be myself and i dont know why this happens ...yeah toxic positivity is bad after a while
jami
01:01:31
@John Yes! People feel the need to speak. Often silence and being with is much more healing. Our presence can be enough
Michelle Madeen
01:01:31
What do you need is too hard of a question when you are in pain
John Schuderer
01:01:32
@Michelle - YES!
Mary Hall
01:01:32
This is so important in workplaces that tell employees to be “real” or “authentic” and share more and be vulnerable, but they don’t really support it or understand it.
Gaganjot Singh Arora
01:01:33
Sometimes, all the other person wants us is just to listen
Amber Craft
01:01:36
@Michele Nora has an episode about that
Kate Burns
01:01:37
When in pain (grief) why do we feel as if we have to console others?
Saira Malik
01:01:37
You are told to accept your feelings
Mindy Fingerman
01:01:41
someone once told me it can be easier to digest if you ask someone, "how are you TODAY?" when enduring a difficult time
Milly JC She/Her
01:01:45
sending food or offering to buy groceries or dinner is something I've appreciated in my grief as I'm often too depressed to make myself an actual meal
Sabrina Barwick
01:02:03
Love this poem! Keep it near and dear!
Cassidy Pfister
01:02:04
Sometimes taking a minute to come up with the right word instead of “fine” is best. Or just relaying your day so people can get a deeper insight into your true feelings that contribute to not being “fine.”
Tess Neal
01:02:06
What is something you can say to people when you know they are in pain and you want to be there with/for them....but aren't sure what to say...especially at a funeral?
Bianca
01:02:13
Reel-kah
Saira Malik
01:02:16
I know many people who have been supported st times of grief or hard times
Evan (Even)
01:02:19
Rilka-
Starry B
01:02:24
Thank you so much. This is very helpful.
Stefanie Tomlinson
01:02:28
It is hard to find those people - "safe" people - and now that almost everyone is NOT OK I feel selfish being truthful because my problems do not need to compound others' problems, and I would never want someone to think I feel as though my problems are "more important"
Carole Flores
01:02:29
A good, "just"
Heather Carbone
01:02:32
I try to just say, "that is really tough, thank you for sharing. If you need to talk, I am happy to listen anytime". I wish that is what people had said to me.
Milly JC She/Her
01:02:34
yeah being asked what you need puts all the work on the person in grief and they often can feel like a burden
A
01:02:34
Saw that quote in Jojo Rabbit. Went down the rabbit hole reading on his works. What a wonderful human being.
Dr. Neal Lester (he him his)
01:02:43
not either/ or but both
Saira Malik
01:02:43
I say how I feel and I don’t hide it
Milly JC She/Her
01:02:49
sometimes it's better to just DO something
adele
01:02:50
What doesn’t kill you makes you vulnerable
K
01:02:52
@Savanah trauma makes decisions hard
jami
01:03:01
The Guest House by Rumi- my favorite
Sherry Rankins-Robertson (she/her/ella)
01:03:04
Brava!!
Michelle Madeen
01:03:04
@Milly - Exactly!
Jules ~
01:03:06
Excellent!!
McKenna
01:03:08
thank you, Nora!
Kim Kocak
01:03:08
One of my favorite authors uses the term brutiful— life is both brutal AND beautiful!
Erin Craven
01:03:12
*Applause for Nora!!!*
Miranda Rodgers
01:03:12
thank Nora you have a new follower in NJ
Emily
01:03:13
Wonderful!
Michelle Zanoni
01:03:14
Sometimes it's better to do nothing but just be there
samantha
01:03:23
That was so wonderful! Cant wait to listen to your podcast
Bianca
01:03:24
https://www.idealist.org/en/careers/name-correct-pronunciation
Christopher Ocampo
01:03:25
Amazing talk!
Saira Malik
01:03:25
We are social animals and we are socialised to interact with others
Amy MacPherson
01:03:25
My best friend and I have an agreement - one person gets to be “crazy” at a time - so we can be there for each other :)
Mitchelle Makanjuola
01:03:26
Amazing Nora ! And right on time
Barbara Harrison
01:03:27
Pronunciation of Phonetic spelling of Rainer Maria Rilke. RAY-nur mah-REE-ah R-IH-L-k-uh. RY-ner maREE-a RIL-ka
Nohemi Garcia
01:03:27
Amazing, really
Colleen C.
01:03:28
Very cool thx!
Feliz She/her
01:03:29
Nora, how do you not carry the stories you're told in a heavy way?
AJ
01:03:29
Nora, you're amazing. <3
veronica
01:03:29
So glad I woke up at 330 am for this!
Savannah Wateland
01:03:31
Nora, you are the best. Thank you for being who you are.
Yie Foong
01:03:31
Huge thanks
Amy MacPherson
01:03:31
Nora is amazing - thank you!
Kaitlyn Gosline (she/her)
01:03:34
👏👏👏
brenda
01:03:38
Love Nora! Thank you!
Bianca
01:03:38
Let’s be inclusive and respectful and learn how to pronounce each other’s names
Milly JC She/Her
01:03:41
thank you for this!
JaCoy W.
01:03:41
thank you Nora! I learned a ton from your talk
Alyssa May
01:03:43
So so so great - Thank you, Nora!
Gina
01:03:44
working on this , this is discussion was so helpful to me and want to share with my family
Rachel DeFurio
01:03:46
Thank you
Teri B
01:03:46
Thank you!
Saira Malik
01:03:48
Yes it’s nearly 2.00 here
Lisa
01:03:48
Hello from Australia
Joy
01:03:49
It's early hours here so I've got to go. Since going through pain myself & feeling for others, I try to offer any practical help, to offer my listening ear whenever it's needed, like the middle of the night. If you need to scream/ cry, if you need a hug or some plates to smash. That's what I try to offer & when I do, I mean it. That's a positive American trait, if they say come to stay, they tend to mean it. Thank you, love to you.
Florencia Durón
01:03:50
Thank you indeed!
Cassidy Pfister
01:03:52
🙌🤩
Katie Blake
01:03:52
Had so hoped to see you at Edmond Town Hall in Newtown, CT. I hope you'll try to come again!
Yulithza Barrientos
01:03:54
Thank you Nora!!
Michele
01:03:54
(((Nora)))
Brigitte Bazie
01:03:55
Thank you Nora!
Susan Schneller
01:03:55
And all of those feelings are important to acknowledge in our lives! I loved working end-of-life care as a nurse because I could help people understand the process and help them during that difficult time.
Alexandra Checketts
01:03:56
Such good points, Nora!!
Kaye
01:04:04
wonderful talk!
ELIZABETH
01:04:07
Thank you! :)
kleland
01:04:10
I’m so grateful for your talk and wisdom, Nora! You have a beautiful way with words!
Emily Wilford
01:04:11
I have tired to live in a space where I hold my life together and “good” or “fine” and find myself dropping sadness bombs on people and I do it with sarcasm and humor, it certainly feels toxic at times.
Cai McCann
01:04:14
Thank you!
Laura Bramall
01:04:15
Fabulous, thank you!
Zakiya Luna
01:04:15
Caught the end -wonderful ! The first book came at a perfect time and the podcast goes deep. Thank you !
Pardis Baradar
01:04:15
Thank you, Nora!
Shea
01:04:19
thank you so much for that nora <3
Althea Stoney
01:04:23
Thank you.... perfect timing!,,
brian
01:04:28
Thank you Nora
Susan Schneller
01:04:32
Your truth is much appreciated, Nora!
Marissa Honey-Jones | she, her, hers
01:04:38
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Marlana-Patrice Pugh Hamer
01:04:40
Thanks, Nora. I am a widow. Years ago. I can totally relate. You touched me deeply.
Christina
01:04:41
So insightful and enlightening! Thank you Nora.
Dr. Neal Lester (he him his)
01:04:42
Please stick around for this wonderful conversation, if you can!
Kirsten W
01:04:44
I think it's great to listen and or do something rather than to ask what the person needs. From personal experience, it is too hard to make decisions when you are hurting or trying to keep your head above water during cancer treatment.
Ellen Gittleman
01:04:46
Thank you Nora.. Ellen from Scottsdale, AZ
Drew
01:04:48
Thank you so much for your valuable insights and perspectives! I'm inspired to look into more of your work!
Nicole
01:04:48
I feel like I stumbled into a diamond mine and NOT ALONE!
AJ
01:04:49
It's so nice to hear some real talk
Belinda Richey
01:04:50
Truly....Thank you
megan
01:04:58
What do you recommend saying instead of “sorry” when hearing about someone’s misfortunes?
Marissa Honey-Jones | she, her, hers
01:05:00
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Erin Craven
01:05:03
TTFA is truly one of my favorite podcasts
Arcelious
01:05:06
Love the revelations regarding about how important the truth really is for living fully
Zoom user
01:05:08
Will this be available to watch again?
rachelstys
01:05:09
AJ, so agree. Refreshing and I feel lessalone
Jeovanna Moreno
01:05:23
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Charlie Leight
01:05:23
Thank you. My mother is dying and so upset. Your talk is giving me permission to hurt and not be the stoic.
Jen
01:05:28
Thank you Nora!!👏👏
RUZ
01:05:29
Thank you Nora. Amazing !!!!
Sandi Silverberg
01:05:31
so after my mother died from pancreatic cancer, wonderful illness, her doctor said to me 2 months later, "Aren't you over that yet."
Saira Malik
01:05:40
Words do matter but do do actions
Kate Burns
01:05:41
👏 👏 👏
Lori Langston
01:05:46
Takes a ton of courage to be vulnerable and admit that we're not always OK. Also for sharing your story Nora. Inspiring.
megan
01:05:49
What do you recommend saying instead of “sorry” when hearing someone’s misfortunes?
Julie Saucier
01:05:51
Thank you!!
Michele
01:05:51
@Sandi I am sorry
Heather Carbone
01:05:52
I share TTFA and Nora's TED Talk with all my students and I cannot tell you how many students of mine have been as impacted as I have.
Kasey
01:05:57
How did you deal with grief on top of grief and how did you take the time through each death? Husband, Dad and baby
bridget seeley
01:06:02
Thank you for your awareness of the individuality of people as well as group identities of people and all the emotions!
Dr. Neal Lester (he him his)
01:06:06
@Charlie, thank you for coming tonight
Kate Burns
01:06:09
@sandi find a new doctor
Amy MacPherson
01:06:10
The old saying - sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me — this is a great conversation starter in class when we start to discuss language…
Saira Malik
01:06:16
I tell people how I feel o don’t find it hard and I don’t find that it makes me a weak person
Afifa Sulthan
01:06:19
You're the best Nora. Amazing, Thank you I'm you're a big fan
J C
01:06:21
I ask about their bandwidth to talk or I ask what are you currently passionate about.
Patrina Yang
01:06:22
We are conditioned to always try to provide a solution, to fix the pain, or give words of comfort. We need to be ok with the silence - allowing the other person the opportunity to just share, have someone listen and just be there.
Saira Malik
01:06:31
If I don’t tell people how I feel how will I get what I need
Katie Blake
01:06:36
Just show up!
Kirsten W
01:06:59
@sandi How horrible! It takes years to ease the pain of your loss!
Melissa Brown
01:07:08
Toxic positivity breeds at my large employer. I'd love ways to allow others and myself to not have to be "fine, or better than fine"...especially when we are not.
Kate Burns
01:07:21
@patrina another screenshot thank you!
Janice M US (she/her)
01:07:22
The need to fix is very individualistic. Eastern cultures also value allowing events to unfold. Americans view not taking action as bad - passive is considered bad
PA
01:07:30
Why not just say hello or hi. I don't ask how people they are if I am not willing to handle the answer. You are accountable for what you know.
Joy
01:07:36
@Sandi I'm so sorry that happened. Utterly ri thing for them to say.
Dr. Neal Lester (he him his)
01:07:44
Most/many life experiences we can't fix. Kinda like "thoughts and prayers" response to personal and communal tragedy
Joy
01:07:55
*appalling
emily
01:07:59
in my grief group last night someone suggested that when you see someone, instead of asking "how are you" just say "it's nice to see you" or "good to see you"
Saira Malik
01:08:01
I always ask others how they are and what they need and leave people alone if I think they need their space
kleland
01:08:09
My dear friend’s daughter committed suicide; I send her a heart emoji randomly from time to time with no expectation for a response.
Milly JC She/Her
01:08:22
a nice statement to say to someone grieving: be patient with yourself, grief takes time.
Courtney Ward
01:08:25
Showing up, however best you can, is so important
emmamoreland
01:08:26
I find it really easy to get wrapped up in the false narrative that social media supplies as an 18 year old girl, Nora you are truly an inspirational person and thank you for helping people find peace with their lives.
Stefanie Tomlinson
01:08:27
My boss always says "Don't ask a question that you don't want the answer to," -- if you're not prepared to hear hard and true answers, don't ask.
Milly JC She/Her
01:08:28
and sit with them
Dr. Neal Lester (he him his)
01:08:39
That's also why the " Tell me how I can help" is odd to receive during rough times. We may not know immediately what we need...
Susan Schneller
01:08:48
Where can we find your podcast?
Milly JC She/Her
01:08:52
"it's okay to feel whatever emotions arise"
J C
01:09:04
We did that for Cheryl, our neighbor, when her 36 year old husband, David died. I also mentor and tutor their girls now.
Dr. Neal Lester (he him his)
01:09:04
Not have words is powerful. No words...
Milly JC She/Her
01:09:07
deathiversary and birthdays are a big deal 🤍
Kate Burns
01:09:11
It’s alright to be alone and want to be alone
Saira Malik
01:09:14
I don’t understand the doctor who asked you have you got over it yet ! I would have reported that doctor
Jules ~
01:09:17
YES - remember those dates!!
RUZ
01:09:27
A psychiatrist stopped me half way through me relating my story and told me to get over “it”. I walked out of his office crying.
Angela Lamberti
01:09:32
After my husband died of liver cancer a few years ago, I was fortunate enough to visit each doctor that looked after him a few months later. Each and every doctor let me talk, ask questions and none of them told me to get over it or how was I? They acknowledged my grief and asked me smart questions. I was truly grateful.
samantha
01:09:40
@Dr.Lester Absolutely.. but I am so guilty of that. My instinct is to help... feed people, clean.. I don't know.. But I know its not the most helpful thing
Lynn B
01:09:41
This may have been mentioned but is this recorded that I could share with others? Such good information.
Kate Burns
01:09:51
My sisters Birthday is Sunday— she passed away unexpectedly 2/7 - she was waiting for a living liver transplant from her son— heartbreaking
Saira Malik
01:10:00
That’s what fixtures are supposed to do
Saira Malik
01:10:14
They are trained to have a bedside manner
Susan Schneller
01:10:15
We are required to define ourselves, put ourself in categories for other people.
Paige
01:10:19
I do not know how to help people grieve, I don't even know how to properly grieve, I just shut it off until months later when I can really process it. I offer to clean homes for people who are being run over with depression or anything really and their lives are just piling up. I used to clean military homes before families moved in, or just after families moved out, and now I just do it for people who need that extra bit of help.
Milly JC She/Her
01:10:22
@kleland me too, the smallest action can still mean so much in reminding someone that you care about them and sometimes that's all we need
Lou
01:10:33
I hate that widow is listed as a choice with divorced, single, widow
Dr. Neal Lester (he him his)
01:10:54
@lou, great point!
Rebecca Karlsson
01:11:01
any advice to ask young adults that are close to you,hothead are?
kleland
01:11:07
@Milly - yes, I love your comment
@JOANNAessayist
01:11:08
@Lou do you think it should just be single/married?
Saira Malik
01:11:23
I don’t put in any face anymore I really can’t be bothered abs say what I feel
Rebecca Karlsson
01:11:24
how young people are
Michelle Madeen
01:11:25
I hate when widow is written with divorce. Like Divorced/Widowed.
Jennifer Pachan
01:11:28
I have had the reverse reaction. Some agencies require me to check married or single...I appreciate when widow is an option because it acknowledges that it's very different from being single.
Dr. Neal Lester (he him his)
01:11:33
Why is single or married even on a generic form?
CHaracourt
01:11:34
And so many times the marital status is irrelevant in the context it is asked
@JOANNAessayist
01:12:01
@Lou should there be two options? Single/married? Who cares what preceded?
Katya Nuques
01:12:08
agreed Dr. Lester
Michelle Madeen
01:12:21
I hate when forms only say single or married. I write in widowed. I have a right to my history.
Kate Burns
01:12:22
I think dealing with death during Covid (not being able to go see her while hospitalized) exasperates the situation. It’s truly been weighing on my heart
Joy
01:12:24
My best friend died & her Mum was touched that I remember, as nobody else had contacted her. I was surprised our other friends hadn't, but they said they felt too uncomfortable.
Jennifer Pachan
01:12:33
So true Michelle!
McKenna
01:13:19
Ahhh, Patrick. Miss that guy. He is the best!
Gilles's Galaxy Tab S7
01:13:19
Nora I have shared my story when I felt safe and have been burned so badly. And now I trust only a certain few!
Saira Malik
01:13:19
Forms have to accommodate all people otherwise some will say what about us ?
Marlana-Patrice Pugh Hamer
01:13:20
@Michelle You are right. We are no longer single per se.
@JOANNAessayist
01:13:25
How can we be true to our suffering and resist toxic positivity without inadvertently demanding people do the emotional labor of extending empathy and listening to us???? I see Dr. Tracy studies communication and emotional labor.
Milly JC She/Her
01:13:49
my oldest brother passed away last month and following specific accounts on social media has actually helped me a lot and help communicate with my friends on how to approach me. i recommend following @thegriefspace and @grief_guide on instagram
K
01:14:06
and recognize not all of us see things the same
Jocelyn
01:14:09
thanks, Milly!
@JOANNAessayist
01:14:11
@chacourt yes because we fetishize romantic partnerships—there’s no reason to ask.
McKenna
01:14:12
the grief space is great.
Saira Malik
01:14:16
In UK we have the census every 10 years and the government needs this kind of info so that they can plan resources for the next 10 years
Dr. Neal Lester (he him his)
01:14:20
We even have jokes about "Debbie Downer"--the catastrophe reminder. Not quite the same but similar because she looks for the worst.
Jocelyn
01:14:48
I love the idea that we owe honesty to the people we're in relationships with.
Charity Johns
01:15:02
My best friend and I refer to it as "truth hammer" and we both know that we have something REAL to say
K
01:15:06
and they owe us the same
Gina
01:15:06
Can you offer this through OLLI-ASU?
Matt
01:15:08
All of this assumes that there are people around a grieving person who want to provide support. What do you say to people who have to negotiate the complexities of choosing not to suffer in order to preserve support and community???
Susan Schneller
01:15:09
I often ask someone if they have time to talk in a text.
Kate Burns
01:15:42
Thansk @milly followed ✔️
@JOANNAessayist
01:15:57
@drlester yes! SNL had a long series about Debbie downer and it’s so destructive. No one who practices attention—seeking complaining (and alienates others) will change because they’ve been ridiculed.
Kate Burns
01:16:18
Thinking about her makes me cry, not thinking about her makes me guilty - it’s so hard to balance it all
Leah LeFebvre
01:16:47
Yes — Wisconsin!
Heather Carbone
01:17:20
I am from Boston Irish stock - they don't do emotions lol. I am breaking my family in.
Nicole
01:17:27
Grief triggers. . . when other's are moving on, but you are not. How do you "be sad" with those people when the triggers come about , even years later?
Amy
01:17:32
The idea of conversational consent is something I've been trying to implement in my own life when I'm sharing things....but it's hard to get to that point if everyone doesn't agree with that mindset
Marlana-Patrice Pugh Hamer
01:17:34
Sometimes you just need a Good Listener. Unfortunately, too many people want to inject their advice and opinions even if you do not want it at that time.
@JOANNAessayist
01:17:35
At poetry readings people routinely apologize or joke about sad poems
Michael Ault
01:17:37
How often does a kid fall down and get hurt and others tell them “you’re ok” as if they are informing the kid of something they didn’t know.
Erika Acorn
01:17:39
I'm from South Dakota. All we have his stoicism and cold wind.
Carmen
01:17:43
my friends have told me that they like it when I say " I hear you"
Rachel DeFurio
01:17:52
100%
Katya Nuques
01:18:08
good question, Dr. Lester.
Katie Honeycutt
01:18:28
I am from Michigan. Similar expectations.
Shea
01:18:37
girls are always expected to be like "moms" and be ready to help at the drop of a hat
Amy MacPherson
01:18:41
@Erika - it is interesting to consider how cultures impact the acceptance of authenticity…
Janaya
01:18:49
I find that women are often expected to be good listeners.
Gina
01:18:53
My parents in their 80s are very private with their feelings, I had to learn to open up…it’s generational…
Florencia Durón
01:18:54
Sarah and Nora, you were talking about making uncomfortable feelings ok for yourself first. How do you accomplish that self-acceptance? What has worked for you?
Jules ~
01:18:55
Do other races not answer "fine" to the How are you? question?
K
01:19:00
When you can't be yourself and you have toxic people around you that will bash your vulnerability what do you do?
Emily
01:19:03
girls are often told they’re too sensitive
Saira Malik
01:19:04
Too much anger and sadness is not good for the physical body It triggers other problems in the body
Miguel Ángel Torres
01:19:09
luckily I am blue
samantha
01:19:22
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Elizabeth
01:19:23
but at the same time, men are taught they can't have emotions
Margaret Owuadey
01:19:24
Very true Emily.
Celeste Trevino
01:19:28
I appreciate all of these examples oh my gosh it's SO TRUE
Samantha E
01:19:36
Normalize men being vulnerable around each other
Samira
01:19:36
women get told to smile more
Saira Malik
01:19:41
I think maybe certain communities are more emotional then others
Janice M US (she/her)
01:19:45
If you are POC you may be labeled "crazy" if you violate your stereotype.
Celeste Trevino
01:19:53
"Talk less, smile more "
Evan (Even)
01:19:53
How about "boys will be boys" when white college boys rape women
Katie Blake
01:19:54
Women in leadership are viewed as a B and emotional if they stand too tall. If they push back...
Shea
01:19:56
we're also expected to put on a smile and not show the fact that we're ready to explode
Saira Malik
01:20:05
It’s sad that men can’t cry or told not to cry
Charity Johns
01:20:08
We had a recent article that an African American woman was upset about some racially insensitive masks were being worn by Walmart workers and she actually said "I am NOT just an Angry Black Woman! I am upset because this is wrong and promotes insensitivity"
Milly JC She/Her
01:20:11
i often wasn't allowed to express emotions as a kid, one book that's helped me heal in my journey is "Adult Children of Emotionally immature parents"
Shea
01:20:13
and we're also seen as too emotional because of our hormones and cycles
kallia
01:20:15
its really sad that were taught women are too sensitive and men dont have feelings
Zeta Anich
01:20:21
In my family, males did anger but not sad so did anger instead of sad. Us females weren't allowed to do anger so did lots of sad.
Amy MacPherson
01:20:22
When we speak our truth as women we are “passionate”
Kate B
01:20:22
Toxic positivity enables abuse. People aren't supposed to talk about "negative" things, especially not women. The silence allows a constant stream of new victims because they didn't know to avoid the abusers.
Marlana-Patrice Pugh Hamer
01:20:27
Angry or Strong. Black Women can be both and much more!
Kate McFadden
01:20:27
What are go-to responses to validate a child’s hurt or sadness instead of telling them to “suck it up” to be a “big kid”?
Nydia Alfonseca
01:20:45
I am Hispanics and if I give my daughter a bad news they do not reach ok. they growes up in US.
Barbara Harrison
01:20:55
The US is very much a facade society.
Miranda Rodgers
01:20:56
was always told never show or talk about your emotions
Tess Neal
01:20:59
If some of this is so uniquely American, can we learn from how other cultures do all of this better / living and talking more genuinely?
CHaracourt
01:21:10
Facebook lovely
@JOANNAessayist
01:21:23
Thanks for circling back to NEOLIBERAL CAPITALISM and PRODUCTIVITY FETISHISM
Jules ~
01:21:23
MN needs bigger mosquitoes???? 🤯
Adreonna
01:21:28
Can you all talk about the pressure to still be fine/maintain and as productive as your counterparts when you have kids to take care of in addition to work responsibility
@JOANNAessayist
01:21:31
SO HELPFUL!!
Katya Nuques
01:21:34
Thank you, Dr. Sarah!!
Barbara Harrison
01:22:01
After 911 people who had lost loved ones were told take the week and put closure on your grief and come back to work.
Zakiya Luna
01:22:05
For an academic take on emotions and workplace-Are Some Emotions Marked "Whites Only"? Racialized Feeling Rules in Professional WorkplacesAdia Harvey WingfieldSocial ProblemsVol. 57, No. 2 (May 2010), pp. 251-268 (18 pages)Published By: Oxford University Presshttps://doi.org/10.1525/sp.2010.57.2.251https://www.jstor.org/stable/10.1525/sp.2010.57.2.251Cite this ItemRead and downloadLog in through your school or libraryAlternate access optionsFor independent researchersPreviewPage 251 ofAbstractMuch of the research on emotion work in organizations has focused on the ways in which emotional performance reproduces gender inequality. Yet, most of these studies overlook the racial character of professional workplaces and how emotion work is experienced by racial/ethnic minorities. In this article, I examine how the normative feeling rules that guide emotional performance in professional workplaces are racialized rather than neutral or objective criteria.
Evan (Even)
01:22:07
Oh yeah- we don't have any past either-no Vietnam, no Native American genocide, no African amer slavery
Lori Langston
01:22:10
Dr. Tracy! Yes - the idea that grief or sorrow are non-productive behaviors is crazy!
Nicole Roberts
01:22:13
Yes, in the workplace and throughout society, only certain emotions are acceptable depending on race and gender. Therapy works (when it does) because people are allowed to be who they are and express -- or just sit with -- their feelings. Great conversation!
Kaylee Marie (she/her)
01:22:16
Thank you for bringing up grief in the workplace
Jocelyn
01:22:16
Yes, @ Joanne! The fact that I got 3 days of bereavement time off of work when my dad died... he wasn't even cremated yet.
Patricia Gauronskas
01:22:22
As a transgender woman, if I act feminine, I can be accused of fetishizing womanhood; if I don't act feminine, I can be told I was never a woman to begin with.
Emily Ann Scott
01:22:27
I am very interested in the concept of toxic positivity and intersectionality - in the case of Minnesota being #2, toxic positivity could lead to inaction. If you deny problems, you won’t consider how to act on and improve them.
Christine C
01:22:31
The man who shot 8 people in Atlanta said he had a "BAD DAY"....WTF???
@JOANNAessayist
01:22:33
Thanks @Zakiya
Carmen
01:22:35
advocate for (more) therapy being covered on insurance!
Monica Devereux
01:22:49
The classroom can play a wonderful role in facilitating the expression of all feelings…
Kate McFadden
01:22:51
What are go-to responses to validate a child’s hurt or sadness instead of telling them to “suck it up” and to be a “big kid”?
Shea
01:23:06
^^^^
Becca
01:23:09
flexibility with bereavement leave would be really… human? for employers to offer
Marissa Honey-Jones | she, her, hers
01:23:14
Thank you, Zakiya!
@JOANNAessayist
01:23:15
Right — everyone tries to monetize time by DOING and “self-improvement”
Vanessa
01:23:16
@Emily Ann, totally agree! Lawmakers aren’t going to be inclined to change things here when the “results” show that we’re almost the best!
jami
01:23:23
@Patricia- wow! I can’t even begin to address that in a chat. There is so much wrong with that
Jocelyn
01:23:32
Yes, @ Monica! Literature is key to teaching about emotions to students
Nicole Roberts
01:23:47
https://www.gottman.com/blog/meta-emotion-how-you-feel-about-feelings/
@JOANNAessayist
01:24:06
Do you think peopleComplain about work in frustrating ways because they’re not permitted to fully express themselves and to grieve??
Shea
01:24:12
Good point Kate! As a future teacher I was just thinking about how some educators tend to invalidate childrens' emotions. It's so sad that some are so confident in telling 8 year olds that they are not allowed to feel what they feel
Jocelyn
01:24:16
Thanks, Dr. Roberts!
@JOANNAessayist
01:24:31
The American work week has been unnatural for a while though.
Greg Brownell
01:24:36
I wonder if you would see the book or the movie "The Yearling" as a guide to how White people grieve?
Afifa Sulthan
01:24:47
The classroom it's so wonderful, I love discuses about of toxic positivity.
Amy MacPherson
01:24:47
I told my VP I was suffering due to taking on too much at work - I asked him for help - he said - We need you to do all of those projects… gotta be productive…
K
01:24:51
as a parent especially a mother you're expected to put a smile on and handle everything it's not just in the work environment but as a parent too it's impossible to be yourself and be vulnerable
@JOANNAessayist
01:25:00
Yes!! And the shareholders of the corporations we serve enjoy the fruits of our labor!!
Katya Nuques
01:25:08
YESSS Use boomerang!
Vanessa
01:25:11
@Joanna right! we have labor laws to prevent us from having to work MORE than we already do. they would make us do so if they could
jami
01:25:26
I really appreciate Martha Nussbaum’s writings about emotions
Samira
01:25:28
My job requires me to be in the office & that has created a whole dystopia of toxic positivity. I don't know what half the staff looks like since we wear masks all day.
Susan Schneller
01:25:28
Interestingly, as a nurse we’re taught to expect and acknowledge all emotions, yet doctors are expected to ignore feelings. Both theirs and others.
Saira Malik
01:25:34
Why would you respond to an email at midnight
Michael Ault
01:25:38
What is a “natural” work week? How do we decide what should be our level of work?
Kate Burns
01:25:41
Work/Boundaries!!!
@JOANNAessayist
01:25:44
@vanessa thanks!! Spread the word!
Saira Malik
01:25:49
You need to have boundaries
Ada Martin
01:25:50
Or do it for yourself. Turn it off after working hours.
Saira Malik
01:25:59
You turn off
Nora McInerny (she/her)
01:26:01
Thank you for this resource!!!
@JOANNAessayist
01:26:07
Hunter gatherers work a lot less because they don’t have to enrich the shareholders 😂
Jam
01:26:07
So true about the teachers!
Milly JC She/Her
01:26:15
@Kate, acknowledge how they feel & listening is already a lot. one of my favorite quotes is "it's okay to be angry but we must express it in healthy ways" for example fitness or music
Amy MacPherson
01:26:17
Who checks in on teachers??? Other teachers…
Katie Honeycutt
01:26:30
Very true with teachers. Teachers are not ok, and we need to do a better job of checking on them.
Saira Malik
01:26:32
Teachers also have a life they need to turn off once their work is done
Saira Malik
01:26:51
Teachers can be available for their students whilst they are at school
Tess Neal
01:26:52
@transgender woman (I can't find your name - sorry) - yes. I feel this way re: the social media stuff too. If you only show good, then it's fake or at least only partially true. But if you show genuiness, some people can accuse you of looking for attention, etc. with the honest/more difficult stuff. It's difficult and complicated, many layers.
Coby Somsen, FNP
01:26:56
Being told over and over by our hospital administration that we “signed up for this”, “this” being an unecessary pandemic with no PPE and not enough staff. Sit in your office while I care for sick people, and try not to bring deadly illness home to my family—tell me again what I signed up for?
Charity Johns
01:27:02
Work/Life balance is crucial to productivity. There have been times in my life that when I leave work all my work chats are silenced. I am available for them A LOT of my time. My days off and vacation are sacred.
@JOANNAessayist
01:27:05
But uncertainty prevents us from striking and demanding better labor conditions!!!
Emily Ann Scott
01:27:05
I used to teach preschool and so much of this starts there. Being able to sit with a child through sadness or anger is crucial. I’m in favor of handling tantrums with this type of language: “I understand you’re angry and that’s okay to be angry, but it’s not okay to (hurt other people, etc.) - let’s talk about how to handle that big feeling”
Katya Nuques
01:27:08
Dr. Tracy, is there a way we can read this dissertation?
Shea
01:27:28
I love that, Emily!
Milly JC She/Her
01:27:32
my job is a safe space and sometimes we do check ins when where people rate how they feel on a scale of 1 to 10 and we're HONEST about it and there's space to share if people want to.
Jocelyn
01:27:49
Dr. Tracy- fantastic point. What I wouldn't give for a politician/leader to admit "this is terrible and we don't know exactly what's going to happen but we're working on it."
AJ
01:27:51
I like to stress, 'It's okay to not be okay" in the workplace, instead of this false happiness/positivity
Susan Schneller
01:27:51
@Coby: we should all be able to feel safe in our workplace, no matter the work!
Michelle Zanoni
01:27:52
In dealing with kids' hurt and pain: A great book is titled How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will talk
Samantha E
01:27:57
@Coby as a fellow healthcare worker I relate to your statement!
Vanessa
01:28:08
This is an awesome article about productivity and the modern American workweek:
Vanessa
01:28:11
https://www.raptitude.com/2010/07/your-lifestyle-has-already-been-designed/
@JOANNAessayist
01:28:13
@charity some employers are willing to extract as much labor as possible by overworking employees and then firing them when they burn out.
Milly JC She/Her
01:28:33
when my brother passed, because of working from home and not socializing, my colleagues were actually the ones who noticed my absence the most and checked in with me the most and not because of work stuff but simply to make sure I'm eating, sleeping, and okay
G Bennett
01:28:36
physically I am broad and tall, mentally I am very sensitive humble person. in a situation I expressed headache and send if being verbally attacked ONLY to be told that the verbal antagonist was a mere small woman so I was being ridiculous.. I suffer from this preconceived negativity imbalance so often! any advice please?
Catherine Mancini
01:28:50
@Coby, None of the pandemic responders signed up for this. That is dismissive language and you do not deserve that. I'm sorry that your leaders cannot deal with their own pain in a healthy way.
Charity Johns
01:29:03
@Joan you are exactly right! I used to be ALL about being available. Boundaries are where I am thriving now! I deserve my time away from work and value my time at work so much more.
Susan Schneller
01:29:04
Women also can’t be ambitious without being “bitchy.”
Janaya
01:29:12
I’m so sorry, Milly.
Monica Devereux
01:29:14
Feelings are universal
Jessica | RFA | ISE Specialist
01:29:19
In my review at work I was told I need to be a more positive communicator
Michele
01:29:36
I am out as a lesbian at work, and after the Pulse nightclub massacre of my brothers and sisters, not a single coworker said anything to me.
Milly JC She/Her
01:29:45
@AJ yes! i love that, "it's okay to not be okay"
@JOANNAessayist
01:29:48
@charity so glad! We need to work on decoupling the sense of self worth from productivity if possible.
Milly JC She/Her
01:29:57
@janaya thank you 🤍
@JOANNAessayist
01:30:05
Don’t worry DEMAND MEDICARE FOR ALL!!
Drew
01:30:26
@charity I have had to set boundaries since the pandemic began too. I am set up in my room and as soon as my shift ends, I throw a blanket over my monitors. Out of sight, out of mind!
Susan Schneller
01:30:29
The culture is so different in healthcare.
@JOANNAessayist
01:30:32
Don’t worry, demand long term unemployment insurance even for people who get fired!!
Jessica | RFA | ISE Specialist
01:30:36
How do to address people tone policing?
Varda
01:30:59
michele...my empathy!
Alyssa May
01:31:03
Women in the workplace are also forced to operate as positivity outlets, while some are also dealing with more care burdens, pregnancy, and miscarriages quite regularly. Any suggestions on how to handle these issues?
Milly JC She/Her
01:31:06
@drew ahaha smart, i love throwing a blanket over it all. out of sight, out of mind
Florencia Durón
01:31:30
Word!
@JOANNAessayist
01:31:49
Yes Dr. Tracy! I open my memoir, THIS WAY BACK, with a funeral to show the importance of feeling the grief. www.joannaeleftheriou.com
Emily Ann Scott
01:31:51
Alyssa has a great point - often women in the workplace are expected to manage their male superiors’ feelings
Milly JC She/Her
01:31:54
@drew ahaha smart, out of sight, out of mind
Zoom user
01:31:58
Will this be available again ?
Michelle Madeen
01:32:13
Happiness and pain happen at the same time too. I didn't learn this until after my husband died. I can feel happy or content about something and at the same time, I feel grief and sorry for my loss. It's a misconception that you only feel one thing at a time.
Shelby Turingan
01:32:16
I’m a social work student doing clinical work and I’m starting to see clients which is so tiring ): I love it but this pandemic has been so hard on people
@JOANNAessayist
01:32:17
@emily Ann scot yes that’s why I asked about emotional labor.
Shea
01:32:52
In past jobs, I've been expected to practically babysit my male coworkers and make sure they were doing their jobs right - while not being paid to be a manager
Ali
01:33:04
How can we find this recording after??
Monica Devereux
01:33:05
Unless they’re on their phones!
@JOANNAessayist
01:33:14
We need theater and the arts to ***collectively grieve*** without unpaid emotional labor (actors are paid)
Milly JC She/Her
01:33:19
@michelle yes! excellent observation
Lori Stultz
01:33:25
Shelby, I’m right there with you.
Savannah Wateland
01:33:33
I find the most heartfelt conversations are in the car on road trips
Gina
01:33:46
My granddaughter tells me everything when we are watching her favorite shows on TV after school.
Greg Brownell
01:33:50
I think you might not find mcuh toxic positivity in the AppalachiaIn culture. I have never found rural people to be reluctant to share their unhappiness or to at least to not be affraid to share that their happiness is none of your business. Smiles are not shared easily.
Jen
01:33:57
Yes, to the car rides with teenagers!
Barbara Harrison
01:34:03
I agree with Nora. I used to sit my son in the back seat when he was fifteen and things I learned gave me great insight into him. I thought about writing a book about the experience.
Shea
01:34:09
im so bad at making eye contact because i feel like i cant be as true when im looking into someones face
Carmen
01:34:12
I love convos in the car
Milly JC She/Her
01:34:15
@gina aww, love that 💕
Margaret Owuadey
01:34:20
Such a cute dog!
Ms. Moran
01:34:31
My daughter and I have had some of our best talks in the car. If she comes and asks me to go for a ride there is no way I'm saying no.
Kate McFadden
01:34:40
I’ve noticed that it myself too Shea! I feel like I get too nervous and distracted.
Amy MacPherson
01:34:56
@Ms Moran - yes! Me too! :)
Elizabeth
01:35:02
Ms. Moran, I love that!
@JOANNAessayist
01:35:05
@michelle yes!! I open my boook, THIS WAY BACK, with my father’s funeral and close it with dancing even while he’s sick to emphasize the importance of expressing all emotions at once. www.joannaeleftheriou.com
Kate Burns
01:35:32
Here we are re-parenting ourselves and our parents at the same time !!! 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
Shea
01:35:44
exactly, Kate! It makes me feel too directly seen and i think thats what it is
Miranda Rodgers
01:35:54
Unlearning so many things to be a better parent.
@JOANNAessayist
01:36:00
Intergenerational trauma is caused by failure to express grief through the arts and through ritual.
Jessica | RFA | ISE Specialist
01:36:10
None of my grandparents were emotionally available humans
Emily Ann Scott
01:36:10
I also feel ot
@JOANNAessayist
01:36:13
*failure isn’t a judgment!!
Jessica | RFA | ISE Specialist
01:36:13
:/
John Schuderer
01:36:21
Yes, validating feelings of others is so important.
@JOANNAessayist
01:36:24
yes
Jocelyn
01:36:29
Consider all the untreated trauma from WW2 that got repressed in order to "buck up."
Shea
01:37:12
its also okay to celebrate mistakes and failures! It happens to all of us and it doesnt always have to be recognized as bad
Emily Ann Scott
01:37:12
I also feel it’s important to express feelings to children as well! And to make mistakes and apologize in front of them. As a preschool teacher, the number of children who believe that “grown-ups don’t cry” is astounding.
Susan Schneller
01:37:25
I’ve always felt that Sesame Street handles feelings very well. They aren’t afraid to talk about it.
AJ
01:37:45
Any advice for living with a partner who is always glass-half-full/look-at-the-bright-side after they’ve experienced zero loss/hardship in life, when you have lost your entire family annnd your favorite dog? It gets so annoying.
Kate Monaghan
01:37:48
Have to log off. Thank you so much! This was very interesting. Also, I love Nora’s dog!
Monica Devereux
01:37:48
Yes!
Celeste Trevino
01:38:34
The "Man Enough" book by Justin Baldoni talks about that! The TEDTalk too!
Amy MacPherson
01:38:37
Thank you! I need to go back to work - a teacher’s work is never done! :)
jami
01:38:40
The research by Alan Schore specifies that male infants and boys need more help with containing and nurturing.
Shea
01:38:45
looooove justin baldoni!
@JOANNAessayist
01:38:54
Yes please give us the Kelly Baur and other connections to neoliberal capitalism!!!
Susan Schneller
01:38:56
@AJ: Make them watch this video!
Nadine Moore
01:39:08
Thanks so much this was Awesome
Barbara Harrison
01:39:13
Emily, I am so in agreement with you. If I made a mistake with a child, I had no problem apologizing to them. Just because you are an adult it doesn’t make you better than a child.
CHaracourt
01:39:15
Thank you all very much - both the presentation and the chat have been very interesting
Varda
01:39:18
can you send links to books recommended
Samira
01:39:26
I had to tell myself to stop getting mad at myself for crying
Heather Carbone
01:39:33
Listen to understand and not to respond
Robin Bueckers
01:39:34
There is a big difference between positivity and empathy
Paige
01:39:38
Slow down, and acknowledge
Rebecca Karlsson
01:39:39
be a good listener
Jon Maes
01:39:44
I recommend the book Love and Rage: The Path of Liberation Through Anger by Lama Rod Owens
Charity Johns
01:39:46
Expressing a difference of opinion to my BOSS does NOT make me a bad team member. I will work on genuine expression of MY opinion.
briana
01:39:47
Stop sugar coating shit - share the inevitable good that comes with the bad on social media
Mindy Fingerman
01:39:50
I like to introspect and ask myself honestly how I am really feeling, without judgement
Neka Ponn
01:39:56
I am not a cryer. I rarely ever cry. now when I cry I get excited. it’s so liberating.
Andrea Tugade
01:39:58
I had to start writing in a journal and write the things that I'm grateful for
Shana Tobkin
01:40:04
Project Humanities will send a follow-up email with all the mentioned resources and more!
Kaitlyn Gosline (she/her)
01:40:07
Recognizing when you use toxic positivity in talking to yourself
Savannah Wateland
01:40:10
Don’t say “at least”, “you should”, etc.
Susan Schneller
01:40:18
Try not to distract yourself from your feelings. Don’t use keeping busy as an excuse to ignore yourself.
Kim Kocak
01:40:20
Respond (when appropriate) with “That’s awful” and sit with the truth of discomfort
Lou
01:40:23
I write in a gratitude journal
tmf she.her.hers
01:40:25
I will check in with team on how they are doing, we are all still working at home
Janaya
01:40:30
Learning to be okay with my own emotions without intellectualizing them has helped me a lot! I have also learned fo ask my friends if they want advice, rather than just giving it.
Bianca Banhan
01:40:32
mental health cross
Michael Ault
01:40:42
Men are often given the message that the only emotion that is acceptable is anger. I find myself feeling fear, sadness, confusion, etc. and it gets expressed as anger
Marlana-Patrice Pugh Hamer
01:40:47
I journal too. To celebrate and commiserate. We need both.
Miranda Rodgers
01:40:51
I like the idea of a gratitude journal
Shea
01:40:51
Stop telling myself to "stop overreacting"... there is no such thing. I need to let myself feel how I need to feel in a moment until I can let it pass.
Marissa Honey-Jones | she, her, hers
01:41:03
Yes
Rebecca Karlsson
01:41:04
a word can have more than one meaning.ask for clarity if you don't understand.
Becca
01:41:04
allowing yourself to just think "this sucks" because sometimes things just suck for no reason and with no clear positive outcome, sitting with that and allowing yourself to feel it instead of trying to put a happy spin on it
Jessica | RFA | ISE Specialist
01:41:06
Sometimes it’s just saying “I’m not ok” when you feel that and being vulnerable and validating yourself. If you not up for saying it to someone, say it in the mirror.
Juevette Overton
01:41:08
I read my Bible, meditate, and exercise.
Michelle Madeen
01:41:14
Refuge in Grief with psychotherapist Megan Devine. She lost her partner and helps people write their grief.
Elizabeth
01:41:15
YES me too Shea!!!
813 2345 8989
01:41:16
It bothers me when people say “this is what you signed up for” bc ...no I didnttttt. I didn’t know there was going to be a pandemic when. I became a nurse 7 years ago. But thanks for calling me a “hero”
Michael Ault
01:41:19
I want to accept that the whole range of emotion is ok
Emily Wilford
01:41:20
In a grief group I mentioned that I had a hard time feeling sad, I just didn’t want to feel it and they pushed me to find safe times to just be sad and letting myself feel it and acknowledge sadness to those around me was more freeing than I expected…..
Jessica | RFA | ISE Specialist
01:41:22
Yup. I’m a teacher
Catherine Mancini
01:41:23
I ask myself if I am functioning within my top three values and if not, what am I suppressing.
Eboney Roney
01:41:24
I journal and write out prayers
Katie Honeycutt
01:41:24
yes!
Monica Devereux
01:41:27
Yup
Jessica | RFA | ISE Specialist
01:41:28
I get it sooo much
Nicole Roberts
01:41:28
Recognizing having feelings (including shame) makes us human (having Humanity)
Alyssa May
01:41:43
Give myself and other people as much grace as I can. We’re all dealing with something.
Milly JC She/Her
01:41:52
@shea same, I've only recently learned that kindness to myself
Gina
01:42:01
i’m trying to listen in the moment, not judge, validate my feelings and theirs. breathe!
Michelle Madeen
01:42:04
My go to is the phrase "and that's ok."I won't feel guilty about where I am at. I can say "I'm not feeling great today... and that's ok."
Marlana-Patrice Pugh Hamer
01:42:06
Find a Good Listener. Not an Easy Task.
Catherine Mancini
01:42:14
Am I practicing Humaning?
Jessica | RFA | ISE Specialist
01:42:23
Whenever I share how I really am, supervisors will say things like “Oh well only 2 more weeks till spring break!”
Nohemi Garcia
01:42:27
Love a good cry
Andrea Tugade
01:42:28
yes, have a good cry!!
Saira Malik
01:42:29
Yes that’s true have a good cry
jami
01:42:33
Thank you!
Courtney Ward
01:42:34
THIS HAS BEEN INCREDIBLE!!!
813 2345 8989
01:42:35
Try to always remember that it’s OKAY to feel whatever you feel... like when you’re judging yourself for feeling xyz.. tell yourself it’s okay!
Arcelious
01:42:36
Start acknowledging personal emotions to oneself.
kleland
01:42:36
Nora, Dr. Lester, Dr. Tracy, thank you so very much for preparing this meaningful and fun session tonight - I am so appreciative of your time and your generosity in sharing your expertise.
Milly JC She/Her
01:42:37
love that Michelle!
tmf she.her.hers
01:42:37
thank you SO much!!!!!
Saira Malik
01:42:38
I do when I need it
Patrina Yang
01:42:38
Toxic posivity can also lead to gaslighting. The pain/grief/sadness/discomfort is not "real" pain or discomfort. You can out-think it.
brenda
01:42:39
Thank you so much!’
Jessica | RFA | ISE Specialist
01:42:39
Yes cry cry cry
Juevette Overton
01:42:40
Sometimes I talk to myself about my feelings.
Suzette
01:42:42
Finally someone who finally has the courage to speak and write about this topic Thank you so much
Tess Neal
01:42:43
This was awesome. Thank you.
stasia
01:42:44
Thank you for this!
Jules ~
01:42:45
Thank you!! very good!!
Marissa Honey-Jones | she, her, hers
01:42:46
Fantastic presentation and discussion. Thank you all!
Shea
01:42:46
I loved this so much! Thank you all! <3
Emily
01:42:46
Thank you so much!
NL
01:42:50
This has been amazing! Thank you so much for all your time! :)
Jeanne Ivancic
01:42:51
Thank you!
Emily Ann Scott
01:42:51
Thank you all so much! Such an incredible conversation!
Neka Ponn
01:42:52
you all are amazing. I didn’t know what to expect coming in to this and it was incredible. ❤️❤️❤️
Marlana-Patrice Pugh Hamer
01:42:52
Thanks, All. Very moving.
Saira Malik
01:42:53
Thank you
Susan Schneller
01:42:54
Wonderful!! Thanks so much!
Jacque Starks
01:42:55
Thank you.
Katya Nuques
01:42:56
Thank you to all of the panelist! This was amazing!
Jana Anderson
01:42:56
Thank you to all the panelists! This was enlightening!
Erika Acorn
01:42:57
Thank you for providing this amazing content! I learned so much!!
Kristi Ingram
01:42:58
Amazing. thank you so much for this.
Tamara Styer
01:42:59
Thank you so much!
Janie Fugitt
01:42:59
Loved this...thank you so much!!!
Susan Kinsella
01:43:00
Thank you!
Stefanie Tomlinson
01:43:00
Thank you!
Carolyn C (she/her)
01:43:01
thank you <3
Jessica | RFA | ISE Specialist
01:43:01
Thank you! So empowering and honest
becky
01:43:01
Thank you all!!! So interesting
Gina
01:43:01
Loved this discussion!! Thank you!!
Coby Somsen, FNP
01:43:02
So good! Thank you all!
Lou
01:43:03
Thank you so much
Sarah Glover
01:43:03
Thank you for the honest discussion on this topic, this is so important to talk about
Rachel DeFurio
01:43:03
Thank you all so much!!!!
AJ
01:43:03
This was a wonderful pres. Thank you!!
Miguel Ángel Torres
01:43:04
Thanks Nora
Anjaneane Coambs
01:43:04
applaud!!!! thank you!!
Kaylee Marie (she/her)
01:43:05
Thank you!!!
Emma Strouse
01:43:05
Thank you, this was wonderful!
Deidra Colvin
01:43:06
This was so good. Thank you.
Rachel Sondgeroth
01:43:07
BUT WAIT. WE HAVE A SURPRISE FOR OUR ATTENDEES
Juevette Overton
01:43:08
Thank for the information.
Patrina Yang
01:43:09
This was a great conversation. Enlightening. Thank you.
John Schuderer
01:43:09
Awesome conversation, thank you!
Tess Neal
01:43:10
Thank you, Dr. Lester!
Mindy Fingerman
01:43:10
This was great! Love you Nora!!
Celeste Trevino
01:43:11
Thank you! This was amazing!
Milly JC She/Her
01:43:11
thank you, this was so insightful!!
bridget seeley
01:43:11
I laughed, I cried, I took notes, I did self-examination. It was wonderful
Samantha E
01:43:11
Thank you!!
Michele
01:43:11
It is fine to not be fine!! :)
Miguel Ángel Torres
01:43:12
Thanks Sarah
Camryn Ryder
01:43:13
this was amazing! thank you so much!!
Kim Meyer
01:43:13
Thank you
Saira Malik
01:43:13
Can you send some resources
Althea Stoney
01:43:13
Thanks everyone!
Annelise Hodge
01:43:13
Thank you!
813 2345 8989
01:43:13
👏🏼👏🏼
Caitlyn Finnegan
01:43:14
Thank you all SO much :)
VA
01:43:14
Fantastic Presentation thank you so much.
Nohemi Garcia
01:43:15
Yes thank you for the honesty! This was great!
Alyssa May
01:43:15
Thank you all - This was AWESOME
Leah LeFebvre
01:43:16
Thank you Dr. Lester, Dr. Tracy, and NORA! Thank you everyone who listened and wrote messages — I learned a lot! Thank yoU!
Vanessa
01:43:16
thank you!!!!
Kate B
01:43:17
Please say this will be available to watch again later!!
Samira
01:43:17
thank you so much for having the space for this conversation!!
Catharine Lebsock
01:43:17
Thank you! This was amazing and enlightening!
Ms. Moran
01:43:18
My children and I have spent the last two years navigating the "restructuring" of our family following their father/my husband leaving. I have a teenage daughter and a teenage son and I encourage them to not hide any of it. Anger, sadness, hurt. All of it is real and I always let them know we have every right to not be fine. Thank you all.
Gina Campellone (she/her/hers)
01:43:19
Is that a Yeti on Nora's water bottle???
Miguel Ángel Torres
01:43:19
Thanks Neal
Kaitlyn Gosline (she/her)
01:43:19
Thank you! This has been amazing, especially given my day!
Paige
01:43:20
Thank you for hosting and opening it up!
Lars
01:43:20
thank you this has been wonderful!!
Sam Gao
01:43:20
Thank you so much!!! <3
stasia
01:43:20
I’m looking forward to all the resources.
Annelise Hodge
01:43:21
I am so honored to be here
Barbara Harrison
01:43:22
Teachers especially ones who work with young children are the least respected in this country. Parents and politicians need to be locked in the classroom with no help and TEACH!
Margaret Owuadey
01:43:22
Great presentation and discussion, including in the chat. Thanks All.
Rachel DeFurio
01:43:22
I want this chat!
Shelby Turingan
01:43:23
Thank you!!!!
Melissa Brown
01:43:23
Thank you for a lovely time
Taylor Lamb
01:43:23
Thank you Nora!!!
Jon Maes
01:43:23
Thank you!
Lynn B
01:43:28
so good, thank you. How can I share. Nora will you be shairng on Instagram to share with others. So impactful!
Mitchelle Makanjuola
01:43:28
Amazing amazing amazing discussion thank you ! You rock Dr. Lester
Cindy
01:43:28
GRACIAS!!!!
Pastor Karen Stewart
01:43:29
Great discussion!
Arie Zakaryan
01:43:29
Thank you for a great presentation!
Monica Devereux
01:43:30
So grateful to have been a part of this!
@JOANNAessayist
01:43:30
Smart bunch!
Belinda Richey
01:43:30
Thank you All. I am so honored to have been able to attend this webinar.
RUZ
01:43:31
Nora, Dr. Tracy and Dr. Lester, thank you. Interesting conversation.
Miranda Rodgers
01:43:32
I am so glad I toned in
G Bennett
01:43:32
will transcript be available?
Jules ~
01:43:32
WooHoo!! Nora - 10th anniversary guest!
Tracey Lynn Lowry
01:43:35
Thank you!!!
Amy
01:43:35
Thank you!!
Heather Carbone
01:43:36
Thank you for this!
Erika Acorn
01:43:39
Good job, Shana and team!
Miguel Ángel Torres
01:43:42
Thanks Nora, Sarah, and Neal
Gilles's Galaxy Tab S7
01:43:43
Thank you!
Rachael Klos (she/her)
01:43:44
Beautiful and inspiring evening; thank you all!
Igor
01:43:45
Thank you very much!
kleland
01:43:47
#loveASUProjectHumanities
Barbara Harrison
01:43:51
Thanks so much for this common sense discussion.
Kim Kocak
01:43:52
Amazinggggggg, thank you👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Grad Studies
01:43:56
Wonderful conversation, thank you
Lynn B
01:43:57
LOVE THIS!
Rebecca Karlsson
01:43:59
thank you.l go forward with inspiration.
Kate B
01:44:07
Please say this will be available to watch again later!! Thank you!
@JOANNAessayist
01:44:08
@JOANNAessayist commits.
Susan Schneller
01:44:11
A la When Harry Met Sally,” I’lll have what Nora’s having!
Teri Raven
01:44:12
can the chat be provided to participants too?
Mary Hall
01:44:13
Thank you to all the presenters, this was so informative and helpful. I feel a sense of relief.
Savannah Wateland
01:44:15
OH yay!!!!
tkelzj
01:44:16
Thank you so much!
Katie Blake
01:44:19
Thank you! Again, please schedule that visit to Newtown, CT!
briana
01:44:20
Yay!!!
Rachel DeFurio
01:44:20
Yay!!
Lynn B
01:44:20
yea!!!!!
Leah LeFebvre
01:44:21
Hooray!
Tricia
01:44:22
Thank you all - essential worker here in Minneapolis, lots of emotions this past year - Lots of crying and thanks for the reminders that It's ok to not be ok. So grateful for the self-care tonight, and for the reminders.
Michelle Madeen
01:44:23
<3
Monica Devereux
01:44:24
Yay!
Shelby Turingan
01:44:25
Oh how exciting
Milly JC She/Her
01:44:25
😊
Samantha E
01:44:25
Yay books!!
Jana Anderson
01:44:28
How exciting!
wt
01:44:28
Both books are so good!!
Kaitlyn Gosline (she/her)
01:44:29
Yay!
Celeste Trevino
01:44:31
BOOKS COOL
Jules ~
01:44:31
Yes!!
Annelise Hodge
01:44:36
I was just looking her books up!
Katya Nuques
01:44:36
They are Amazing books!
Elline Frances Bautista
01:44:38
💕💕
tmf she.her.hers
01:44:42
yay books!
Shea
01:44:43
OMG LOVE!!!
Sarah Dahl
01:44:44
Such a wonderful program - thank you!
Miggy Recto
01:44:44
Nice, thank you!
Saira Malik
01:44:44
Thanks you
Shawn
01:44:45
Whoo Hoo Books
Melissa Brown
01:44:46
yay! big reader!!
Greg Brownell
01:44:46
Thank you.
Mary Alvarez-Jackson
01:44:53
I own them all and they are all amazing!
Saira Malik
01:44:53
I want to read up on her
Jam
01:44:55
thank you
Amanda Whitlock
01:44:55
thank you, Nora!
Monica Devereux
01:45:02
You guys are amazing!
Ms. Moran
01:45:03
I have both. Love them.
Lars
01:45:04
this made me realize how important it is to avoid toxic positivity with both myself and others, that both are equally as important
Saira Malik
01:45:04
Thank you all of you
Andrea Severson
01:45:04
This was awesome, thank you so much!
@JOANNAessayist
01:45:06
Already posted to Twitter!
RUZ
01:45:06
Cool. Enjoyed Nora’s Ted talks
Sandi Silverberg
01:45:07
this was a terrific program.
Savannah Wateland
01:45:07
I’m almost done with It’s Okay to Laugh!! LOVE IT and Nora.
Gina
01:45:11
I will share!!
Carmen
01:45:12
thanks so much ❤
Carrie Edwards
01:45:13
Thank you so much!
Caroline Fujimoto
01:45:15
<3 thank youuuu the best part of my whole day!
Megan Parsons
01:45:16
Thank you! It was amazing!
Cindy
01:45:16
This was so much better then fine, it was wonderful!
briana
01:45:16
I’m on book 17 of 2021 so please send me more 😍👩🏻‍🏫
Tracey Lynn Lowry
01:45:17
LOL
Ada Martin
01:45:18
Not trying, you are doing
Maria Ferlito
01:45:19
Great session ! Wonderful Amazing people :)
Zakiya Luna
01:45:19
Well, know who you are now . Thank you to all the organizers and Nora M . Night !
Lucy Baez
01:45:20
thank you!
J C
01:45:22
Thank you
Diane
01:45:23
thank you
Kirsten W
01:45:23
Thank you! Love the book drawing!
Grad Studies
01:45:24
Definitely sharing
Rebecca Karlsson
01:45:25
are you connected to a Canadian university?
Emily Ann Scott
01:45:26
Thank you all so much!!
Andrea Tugade
01:45:26
Thank you very much!
Patrick Shumar
01:45:27
Thank you all so very much!
Kate Burns
01:45:27
Thank you kindly
Wynter Fenn
01:45:29
Thank you for this opportunity <3
Alpha Villa
01:45:30
thank you so much!
Arcelious
01:45:30
A wonderfully awakening session to what ails.
Zoom user
01:45:31
Thank you !
Carmen
01:45:32
don't say anything if you don't have anything nice to say 🙂
Margaret Owuadey
01:45:32
Wonderful!
megan
01:45:33
Thank you so much!!
Saira Malik
01:45:33
Thank you from UK
sjack
01:45:34
Thank you
Stacy Raheem
01:45:34
This was great thanks
dthorpe
01:45:34
Thank you !!!
Shea
01:45:35
cannot thank you enough for this!
Maria Ferlito
01:45:37
God bless you all :)
veronica
01:45:39
Amazing!
K
01:45:39
book draw yay!!!!🧡
Janaya
01:45:39
Thank you!
megan
01:45:40
Totally coming next week!!!
Annalisa Tucker
01:45:40
THANK YOU!!!!
Shelly Terry
01:45:40
Thank you!
Marisa Harper
01:45:41
This was amazing! Thank you so much for this opportunity!
Tracey Lynn Lowry
01:45:41
Thank you so much for sharing and being real!
Cassidy Swanson
01:45:44
Thank you so much!
Emily
01:45:44
Dr. Lester, I’m so intrigued by your office!
Kristi
01:45:44
thank you all, this was wonderful
jami
01:45:46
another excellent talk
Saira Malik
01:45:46
Good morning